I love you, you know it is true, MR. potato head, I love you.
By someone who loves their potatoes.
"STOP.
You should not have touched this book with your bare hands.
NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late.
They’re watching you.
My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours."
"On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don’t worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you’re the one who shot him."
Both from John Dies at the end by David Wong.