Hey,
Thanks for the interesting read! And most of all thanks for sharing it all. It's not easy.
Old values and bitterness don't make for good grandparents. Or parents, for that matter. I suppose in a way it is then understandable -- not forgivable -- that your father turned the same way. If he used to be sentimental as a kid then it's a shame that he wasn't allowed to express himself. Maybe everything would have turned out very differently.
Your grandfather seems like a cruel man. I can't relate to the situation you had with your grandfather very well because I never knew my grandfather. He committed suicide. I rarely saw my grandparents from my father's side. I don't know what makes a man abuse kids in that way but I'm glad you're going to put a stop to the spiral of abuse and neglect. Nobody deserves that.
It's weird to think how much our parents and our parents' parents shape our lives.