http://psychcentral.com/lib/in-depth-understanding-dissociative-disorders/0001377
I remember when I first became acutely aware that I was female. I was seven, and my father was still watching me take my baths, so he could make sure I scrubbed myself as hard as I could, until I was completely raw. He said that girls are more naturally dirty than boys, and that as my mother's daughter; I was even more dirty than the average girl. My father hated everything female, and yet he never wanted to have boys. "Girls can do more for me, and are easier to train..." He always said. When I was done scrubbing, he would inspect every inch of me to make sure there was no odor to any part of my body, and then he'd make me get back in the tub and scrub some more.
My eldest sister says that seven is not when it began, but I don't remember him lining up all us girls for inspection, because I was only two when all of us still lived under the same roof. He really had a way of saying things and doing things, to insure the greatest possible amount of feeling inferior. What is it about sever narcissism and hatred of women, that seem to go hand and hand?
At some point my brain closed off from my body and the outside world.... and maybe even to some of the self, in order to survive the torture that was consistently implemented as the to remedy my imperfections, and simply put- for having a vagina.
Here are a list of things I was subjected to as punishment for being born the weaker of the sexes: Burned, cut, starved, forced to stay under water until nearly drowning, locked in closets, beaten, choked, made to eat dog food, made to drink sour milk, to take scalding hot baths, ice cold baths, lick the blood off the wounds of others, bitten, made to go without talking for a month, and left without a care giver for a week. The list goes on and on, really... but you get the picture. I list these things so that you may get a clear understanding of why someone's mind may end up detaching emotionally, and fragmenting the self.
I am the fragmented remains of what was once a whole person, and every day is a struggle to reattach to the self, the outside world, and to the people close to me. A battle I gladly wage if it means that I may one day reach my potential, and also have a lasting relationship with others, in as normal a way as is possible for me.
I share this because I was inspired, first by Legga, and second by Lycan. I think it's important for this community to learn about dissociation, and how it works, because I am not the only one here who has this issue. There might be those of you who have been wrongfully diagnosed, and are being treated with medication that only furthers detachment. At any rate, it might be an interesting investigation if nothing else.
Now then... bring on the asshole trolling!!! :D