Marriage should technically be kept out of govt jurisdiction. The state should only govern the civil contracts, like custody, estate, property/financial agreements. The personal marriage beliefs between people is religious/spiritual which the govt is not supposed to have jurisdiction or decisions in.
Only if people in a state AGREE to standards, then they can all agree to give this to the state to authorize.
But if they disagree, technically it should be kept private. Otherwise it causes all the mess today over marriage.
As for religious or relationship abuse, there should be a separate category of law, similar to health and safety ordinances, where people decide how to handle complaints or charges locally. Once it becomes a civil/criminal issue, it's too late and can't be solved by throwing the problem into the hands of govt which is not designed to mediate or resolve people's personal issues or relations, which are spiritual. Again, this makes the big mess happening today.
All this needs to be addressed on a level outside the govt, where people have authority to resolve problems directly.