:D
I was bored ok?
Dear Mattmx: Thanks for coming here and posting this.
It's harder to know how much is coming from you naturally if you have a substance addiction going on also.
If you address that first, the issues causing the addiction will also answer your other questions.
By resolving as much as you can, it will become more clear how much is from you naturally, what is from your past that can or can't be changed, and how much is from your environment or relations with other people.
If you're still around, can you pls continue posting here?
Thank you and sorry I missed your msg before.