Moderation-lovers,
Shut your fucking mouths about moderation, you hear. We didn't even have internet when I was young. I had to walk five miles in the snow to smack a motherfucker in the face or talk some good ol' shit, you hear. Now get back to fighting and get Gertrude's ass back home if you know what's good for ya', you hear.
Hate,
Grandpa Dick
Gertrude,
I know you like these puters, you hear. Are you on here right now Gertrude? You are not back yet and I have been sifting through this site seeing naked specimens, cursing, and just plain evil. What were you doing here, you hear? I didn't have no dinner tonight except for some left over beans, you hear. You know you are paying for THAT! Mitchell is here wondering where you are. He saw the puter screen and bout shit himself seeing his grandma's portrait over top some flying underwear and bra. Get your ass back here now Gertrude!
Hate,
Grandpa Dick