Yayyy, ha thats so funny! Didnt you before?
You rarely talk because you've never got anything interesting to say, just worthless, unintelligent drivel, hence why you get shot down every time you do open your useless hillbilly gob. Ya, you're definitely better off in the military, maybe the insurgents will do your family a favour.
I scare people enough. Just being nice and talking as I normally do. Boo!
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Here's a Halloween Poem: "Tale of Stingy Jack"
We know that ancient pagan myths gave Easter eggs their start,
And Rudolph's shiny, bright red nose came from Montgomery Ward.
But did you know the Irish tale that gave us Jack O' Lanterns
Began with Stingy Jack who tricked the Devil in a tavern?
'Twas not that Jack was penniless and couldn't pay his tab.
With half his senses wasted, he was still a cunning lad.
The Devil over his left shoulder urged him, "Drink more wine!"
Jack told Old Scratch, "Pay up! And take my soul and all that's mine."
"Deal!" The Devil danced a jig with hooves that scuffed the floor.
They frolicked through All Hallows' Eve till Jack could drink no more.
At last he quit, and pushed Old Scratch the bar to compensate.
"Can you become a coin and change back after we have paid?"
The Devil did oblige and shrank to silver in Jack's hand.
He pocketed the change and left, but did not pay the man!
Instead, Jack kept the Devil trapped next to a silver cross,
So he could not turn back to bully Jack and be his boss.
But tripping out the door and down the street to get away,
Jack dropped the silver coin and cross, so Old Scratch could escape.
"Your soul is mine!" the Devil laughed, as Jack fell to his knees.
He prayed to God for mercy, and was rescued by a priest.
"Drunk man! Do you need help?" The priest rushed up to Stingy Jack.
Old Scratch ran up the nearest tree and hid in shadows black.
"Please save me!" Jack cried his last words, "The Devil's in that tree!"
The priest cut crosses in the trunk, where Jack collapsed in sleep.
Although the priest could not save Jack from death that claimed his life,
Old Scratch could not climb down to claim Jack's soul which was his right.
Jack could not enter Heaven, drunk with pride from tricks and lies,
Nor enter Hell, but faced revenge the Devil had devised.
Poor Jack would wander aimlessly with souls that find no rest,
With nothing but a coal to light his way through wilderness.
For centuries to date, turnips and pumpkins have been lit,
To mark the path of darkest doom for spirits lost in it.
Beware of making evil deals and taking too much drink.
The Devil is not one to trick, but wiser than you think!
Repent of wrongs, and keep your solemn word and conscience clean,
Lest you become an old wives' tale that's told on Halloween....