Brief intro - I'm 21. I've always known I was different, but I discovered at age 15 what sociopath truly meant, and knew instantly that I fit the bill. It was a defining moment in my life. It wasn't a nice thing to find out I was a sociopath, but it brought a lot of answers to the table. I was finally able to understand myself to an extent.
Anyway, What I want to know is - Do you guys feel the need to connect with other humans? Can you do it?
I personally don't understand human connection. Whenever I've lost a family member or a friend to death or just because we've gone our separate ways, I don't feel as if a cord between us has been severed. The only loss I feel is some of the pleasure I got from their company from time to time, but I can get over that.
It's like other humans can enrich my life due to their personalities, qualities or services, but I don't feel this bond that people carry on talking about. I see the emotion in other peoples faces when they are together, I see them gazing into each others eyes, like their minds and souls are linked.... and I just stand there thinking "wtf"?
Whenever I look into peoples eyes they seem to want to look away quite quickly.
Whenever I hug my parents it's fake. The only reason I actually still talk to them is because I realise that they've done a lot for me, and out of principle I will stick by them for now. It only seems fair. I don't feel much for them deep down, but I'm not going to be an ungrateful little brat. I know when I owe someone, but it's not out of sympathy or gratitude, it's a cold and calculated move that I use to make myself feel like less of a piece of shit.