You said they were just to piss off/troll UKan. Why would you even bring your personal relationship drama on the sociopath forum if it was serious.
Come on Raven, you are not a monster. Even online I've seen flickers of genuine sentiment from you. I think you have a lot of defense mechanisms that need to be dealt with by the people who want to be close to you, that's all. Elicit and other ppl who already consider themselves disordered aren't the best candidates (don't have the patience/ability) to do that.