I'm not a great jock as you can see
and not as thrilling as Tom Clancy.
I always talk to the hand of Nancy.
A life of learning is what I fancy.
I waste my time playing D&D
and with a computer, I'm quite handy.
I know the full name of TNT
and only drink cinnamon tea.
I perform serenades with Frets on Fire.
I'm not a ladiesman like Quagmire.
I can only kiss girls if they got a heart attack.
I know that I have a barrel and not a six-pack.
I've heard about another reality
where people look for immortality.
Can the present be a thing from the past?
Can I be an admired hero at last?
(spoken part)
It is said that a special game
brought a lot of people fame
and World of Vistar is its name.
"I'll change into the Almighty One
who is bigger and hotter than the sun.
When I have my sword of Kalmadon,
I'm sure that all my foes are gone.
With my endless supply of mana,
I'll send demons to the digital Nirvana.
When I cast the elemental spells,
you can hear my nemesis' funeral bells.
My arrows of Adics often
put my enemies in coffins.
My attacks are obliterating,
annihilating, eradicating.
My defense is as solid as a rock.
I stop weak attacks around the clock.
Nobody can beat me; I'm an one-man-clan.
I'm invincible like that loser called Superman.
I'm the O.G. in this R.P.G.
I'm a promising prodigy
with a legendary legacy.
My character is who they want to be."
I play this game sixteen hours a day.
I'd never sell my account on eBay.
"Now, I must face the worst enemy I've ever met."
This foe wants to ban me from the Internet.
"It's a horrifying nightmare,
a monster and its name is Claire.
It has killed many of my battle brothers"
and it said: "I'm not a killer, I'm your mother."
I can't summon creatures, I can't use the Force.
She pulled out the plug without a hint of remorse.
I transform back into who I really am:
a spineless spam-fighting lamb.
My days of glory are over, my friend
but always remember the legend.
The one whose username was Gatesfan124
but in the real world, he was Andy Wantsmore.