Hello, dear friends.
I found this website few weeks ago and I finally successfully registered.
I'd like to share a story of how I "destroyed my life".
I was 5-6 at the time and I often used to play games on my mom's old nokia phone. One day I decided to go to the internet to look for new games and after browsing for a while I stumbled upon a porn website. I didn't know what it was or what those people were doing, but I was curious so I kept watching it. Now the next thing I did was probably my first biggest life mistake. Next day, when I went to preschool, I asked my friends if they'd like me to suck their dick (the group was mostly boys). Well, almost all of them didn't take me seriously and later even started calling me names and stuff.. except for one. Surprisingly, he agreed to it and then, when we were having a daytime nap, i hid under the blanket and sucked him off (he was sleeping next to me). It didn't taste good but I kept doing it. We would do it almost every time we met up and this continued for some time. Then, I left preschool and started going to middle school. I don't remember his name or how he looked, but I hope he's having a happy life.
Now this is where I would normally had ended the story, but no, otherwise I wouldn't have been here.
After all what happened, I started doing it in middle school. The beginning of it was simmilar. I asked the same thing, they thought I was joking and then they called me perverted and stuff, except one boy. When I was home alone I invited him, he came over and I sucked his dick. This kind of thing continued for a few years until I left that school. In total, I had sex/sucked dick with about 7 boys.
After that and other things I finally understood that what I have been doing is wrong and I wanted to stop, but I had already become sexually attracted to young boys. Because of it I didn't have many friends or even a best friend, and even now I don't, and because of it I became sad and depressed. But recently I asked myself: did I really "destroy my life"? What would had happened if I didn't stumble upon porn at a young age, Would I still have same friends, hobbies, interests?
Maybe what happened wasn't that bad after all. I still have a long life ahead, so I should be thinking more about what I'll be doing next, instead of crying about my past. The lessons have been learnt, it's time to move on.
I hope you enjoyed my story, sorry if it was too long.