Sociopath Community

You were in out patient rehab for 4 days? Proud of you for being clean.

What made you choose Chicago?

Visiting family 

ty. It really does help to hear ppl congratulate you for staying clean 

 It’s so fucking difficult 

almost caved the other day I bought it and everything and then I was driving home one day and randomly at a stop light I just grabbed it and threw it out the window and drove away 😂 

I hate myself and I’m sorry for littering I don’t even totally understand why I did that but it was just like I going overwhelmed in that moment about having it and I got sick of thinking about it 

so I just yeeted that shit away from me as a way to force myself to like make the decision I had to bjt didn’t want to 

which was obviously to not fucking use and relapse 

I know for me one time.,, “just one time” doesn’t exist 

but that’s what my brain was telling me when I picked it up... in the first place 

but other than that yeah I just think about it a lot but not using 

it sucks ass 

especiallt with this whole break up thing but 

yeah... ugh 

Blanc said: 

Just needed to get away after everything that happened 

 

it’s been great 

 

just kind of a self care trip really

 

took a nice bubble bath and did skin care session and had some English tea (because it’s fucking cold here) 

 

and tomorrow I’m going shopping... 

 

still heart broken as shit and it’s been really hard. Really really hard. 

I keep trying to not think about it and then it just comes back and I just space out or take a depression nap 

 

but it’s nice I don’t have to worry about anything and I can just be depressed 

 

I don’t have to clean or drive or worry about doing laundry or dishes 

literally I just go downstairs 

 

get in with my driver and get tea 

 

and the hotel is very nice and comfy so I took a bomb depression nap earlier 

 

naps are very healing for the soul 

 

im gonna take another in about an hour 

 

currently at the tea place... there is a lot of alcohol and stuff on display and it’s hard in the back of my mind 

 

I just obviously want to use to escape 

 

but yeah as some of you know I was just in an out patient rehab program and I’m clean 

 

and I really don’t want to fuck that up but it is hard so 

 

that’s also why it’s food I got far far away from my home town so I can’t just go cave if I want to 

 

I’m not super strong right now about it I won’t lie just cuz I’m sad as fuck 

 

it’s just hard. 

I wrote a little poem on the plane. 

Was fortunate enough to fly first class. 

Oh and got my hair and nails done and a new outfit so that helps too 

 

little perks to boost your mood 

 

It’s not the end all be all to healing from a breakup it takes a lot more than that. But it’s still good to not look homeless 

 

I’m so heart broken lol everyone can tell I’m depressed as shit too I keep saying I’m fine but I’m like spacing out into the floor and they’re like uhm you seem depressed 

 

I am but idk I’ve seen worse before so I just figure it’s not that bad but I probablt should talk about it 

 you're so desperate to go through something lmao. why dont u find a really abusive man and then you'll be complete

What're you doing @ Chicago?

Visiting family. 

day 3 since breakup 

day 2 in Chicago. 

Honestly exhausted as fuck and just want to sleep endlessly lol 

I always do this when I go on vacations I sleep through the entire thing 

But it’s the best sleep I’ve ever had 

I don’t know why 

Blanc said: 

day 3 since breakup 

 It's only been 30 hours since you were posting how in love you were before he cheated but okay...

What I mean is 

I found out Thursday 

slept 

Friday traveled 

slept 

Saturday today, made post “day three since breakup” 

= Thursday Friday Saturday 

123

three days 

Shopping... 

found some cool stuff... idk what I’m gonna do after this 

sparkly candles made me happy 

uhhh there is falling ice off the sky scrapers it’s kind of cool but the city stinks somehow like literally the worst smelling place I’ve ever smelled other than maybe the subway underground in San Francisco was pretty nasty too 

it’s frigid cold but not negative 13 so it’s ok 

Just had a Chicago brat? Lol like it’s a hot dog apparently... very good 

not vegan but fuck it 

I’ve been taking photos.... 

Yep. Chicago.. it’s so quiet and like calm here compared to my home city people here are so docile and kind... 

Mmm brats. Glad you are enjoying yourself