I'm glad you're finding more ways to be like yourself again, your exploration's had you see a lot of humbling things, but I don't think your journey is done yet.
How hard you aim to rebuke and project at others has been louder these past few months to the point of painting you into a caricature of your former self here. While you may appear weaker on this website now than once before, it is only because of how hard your urge to run from the softer truths of yourself is.
You don't need to behave in a way that's meant to impress people over your infamy, you're plenty impressive without it, and facing your demons can just as easily mean facing what makes you weak instead of just what makes you act.I dropped you because you seemed unnecessarily verbose and your speech patterns and qolloqualisms and pretentious rhetoric, tho that might just be my interpretation of it.
You aren't alone in those thoughts, and those thinking it are getting more vocal about it.
I was pretty much in the same spot around 12-15 discovering reddit and reading alot of wikipedia articles, using colloqualisms and constantly philosophizing and free association to show off my intelligence, I grew out of it tho. Some never do sadly.
In fact I would say 90% of people here remain stuck in a teenage phase (tumblr emo, pseudointellectual sheldon cooper, schoolyard chad, class bookworm, class princess etc.) it makes for a really embarrassing caricature of a community.