You need not be insecure about being evil.
Own it and submerge yourself in it. Become such a threat and calamity that people are afraid to talk shit to you. Make them keep their hatred and contempt of you hidden in private conversations due to being unable to confront you personally.
Then you will achieve respect or at least submission which to me is the purest form of love.
I remember luna being overly sweet to cawk and asking "you arent going to ddos BZ right hehe" when he was ddosing this SC.
But the truth is youre neither evil or causing any impact, your threads and chat gets mostly ignored or made fun of, you have very little impact on anybody so you can keep your conscience clean.