Sociopath Community

I've got a big dick and that keeps me happy. 

Turncoat said:

It'd serve to distract from the topic, which is why I didn't put my answer in the OP.

To answer the OP, what keeps me going seems to be largely automatic. In the past I'd tried to stop moving, but that doesn't seem to be up to me any more than a lot of things. Back when I had a lot more chutzpa about it, no matter how hard I tried there was always something that took over and didn't let it happen. This left me there feeling "too weak to die" as opposed to "strong enough to go on", and that's inverted my feelings on life and death with life feeling like the cage instead of death feeling like a looming and invasive stranger. It's given me views of suicide as being an expression of strength, as it's not something you just decide to do one day, it takes a twisted form of dedication to just end life as you've known it up to that point. 

I've seen overtime that I am not strong enough to do it, and that's why I'm still here. Instead of ending it I'd at this stage rather make my stay more comfortable. I want to reduce the weight of my own mind on myself so that I can stop distracting myself from observing what's around me. It's hard to really enjoy something if I'm sitting there thinking about other things, so I want to try to quiet my wants and needs until all that remains is my surroundings, the things I'm observing.

Otherwise, I enjoy watching people's own little existence microcosms and seeing what weakness/strength soup balances out their lives. Seeing what worlds others carry in their skulls is what makes my time spent not just about myself. It's somewhere between psychological voyeurism and vicarious enjoyment. 

In less words: What keeps me going is my own weakness. 

I see, my mistake for presuming. It is a bad habit of Daniel Birdick :-). Thank you for the interesting and thought-provoking response, Mr. Turncoat.

But have you found satisfactory answers then? I see that you considered addressing my post, which apparently was off topic, more important than replying to the other ones that were relevant to your inquiry.

I ask not because I want to be snarky, but because there’s a resistance to answering a question such as this honestly. Being put on the spot and asked one of the most profound questions that exist is likely not conducive to thoughtful responses. Most people are simply inclined to blurt out whatever first comes to their minds based on their present mood or how they would like to see themselves. Without knowing the full story, it is also demanding to parse the meaning behind what people have to say about such a deep topic.

...

But, oh well, it's early Wednesday morning and I'm bored already, so let me give it a shot and actually try address your question. This will be difficult:

What keeps me motivated is gaining inner control. This lets me focus on what I want. I believe that, if you truly need someone to tell you what to do then you are weak and that weakness makes you vulnerable. This is an observation, not an attack on anyone's ego. If you're being honest about your desires, you can harness them and focus them like a laser onto achieving your objectives. This focus can only occur with internal control. Only when you gain power of yourself will you be able to gain power over others.

Alternatively, you can go down in flickering mediocrity. And I do not judge, that's as good a way to die as any.

Frankly, I cherish the small moments, watching sunset, eating with my family, having sex, and participating in refreshing intellectual discourse such as this one. However, observing myself and others around me grow in fundamental ways is what keeps me going.

There are numerous other reasons that I could use to motivate myself. There's a certain peace that comes with being ruthlessly honest with yourself.

Does this answer your question in the way that you wanted?

cuz i cant go back

Because stagnation has already proven unfulfilling. So now im moving towards success

Daniel Birdick said: 

Turncoat said: 

Why do you choose to go on? 

I'm not looking for advice, I'm looking for variations and narratives. 

I will presume that you're asking how to be happy, and not why go on with life.

You likely know that there are no reasons for you `to go on` aside from the ones that your mind, which is prone to deception, provides you with. Objectively, there is no truth to life that is more valuable than, say, the truth that the Christianity preaches. Nobody can tell you what you should do.

You say you look for variations, but I expect you know that not one person here can give you a satisfactory answer. You even say you're not looking for advice, presumably in defense against the usual barrage of condescending answers, but also in part because you know you will not receive any useful suggestions. After all, who would not want to be on the receiving end of some good advice?

There is no correct way to live your life, but there are tips to avoid being unhappy. For one, you can let go of your self-pity. It isn't useful to you or anyone else.

Secondly, you can ask yourself what makes you happy. What makes me happy is seeing the sun set over the ocean, watching a well-performed act, finishing a puzzle -- a great many things. However, what makes my life worth living will probably not be meaningful to you. That is because finding fulfillment is an extremely personal experience. You will just have to man up and figure it out for yourself. Nobody has as much in line for your well-being as you do.

If you can not find meaning in your life, someone else will volunteer to provide it for you. You clearly do not want that.

 Interesting, and I agree.
I am just thinking that the body has his own coherence too. There is an organic coherence, a coordination of many movements in a unitary structure. You can walk, if you put one leg after another. There is a sort of narrative in the act of walking.
I wonder if logical process is a reflex of organic coordination.

 All these thoughtful, deep posts, and this comment

AliceInWonderland said: 

I've got a big dick and that keeps me happy. 

 got the most upvotes. XD

I could just hear Alice saying it and it made me giggle

Daniel Birdick said: 

I see, my mistake for presuming. It is a bad habit of Daniel Birdick :-). Thank you for the interesting and thought-provoking response, Mr. Turncoat.

But have you found satisfactory answers then? I see that you considered addressing my post, which apparently was off topic, more important than replying to the other ones that were relevant to your inquiry.

I ask not because I want to be snarky, but because there’s a resistance to answering a question such as this honestly. Being put on the spot and asked one of the most profound questions that exist is likely not conducive to thoughtful responses. Most people are simply inclined to blurt out whatever first comes to their minds based on their present mood or how they would like to see themselves. Without knowing the full story, it is also demanding to parse the meaning behind what people have to say about such a deep topic.

...

But, oh well, it's early Wednesday morning and I'm bored already, so let me give it a shot and actually try address your question. This will be difficult:

What keeps me motivated is gaining inner control. This lets me focus on what I want. I believe that, if you truly need someone to tell you what to do then you are weak and that weakness makes you vulnerable. This is an observation, not an attack on anyone's ego. If you're being honest about your desires, you can harness them and focus them like a laser onto achieving your objectives. This focus can only occur with internal control. Only when you gain power of yourself will you be able to gain power over others.

Alternatively, you can go down in flickering mediocrity. And I do not judge, that's as good a way to die as any.

Frankly, I cherish the small moments, watching sunset, eating with my family, having sex, and participating in refreshing intellectual discourse such as this one. However, observing myself and others around me grow in fundamental ways is what keeps me going.

There are numerous other reasons that I could use to motivate myself. There's a certain peace that comes with being ruthlessly honest with yourself.

Does this answer your question in the way that you wanted?

 Good post. At the core of this, and most of the other people's posts, seems to be a desire for self-improvement that keeps people going.

Curiosity. It's best summed up by something you said years ago. Life's like a book, I can't stop reading halfway through. Even if it has a mundane depressing ending, it's something I would like to see to it's end for that final review.

Close second would be my main convictions. Embracing the world as it is, full of conflict. But, I see conflict as a opportunity to learn and grow into a better person, the reward of that would be the ease in which I can shape a comfortable world around me. 

It's gotten to the point where I crave challenges. Not too long ago I lost my car keys and was sort of happy that I had to run too and from work for a bit, just because I was so curious to assess myself. 

Plus I mean, whether it's dull, comfortable or tragically episodic, life is absolutely beautiful to me