Sociopath Community

Doubt how much I'll use this, it's here if I ever want to ramble about something rather than multiple different threads.


Regardless,  Remembered I used to listen to this a lot. I know I listened to it while playing Minecraft and doing Parkour and Deathrun 6 years ago. 


It's annoying that my life has been almost entirely internet based since I was around 9 when my Grandfather died, who was basically my father figure, and closest relative. I know I remembered more a year ago, but now it's harder to remember my past and in detail. 

It's strange, I can remember being super suicidal for most of my life, and I was sad a lot, and terrible at socializing. Then after years of all said stress, I started to have mental breakdowns, and for a few years though happen on and off, and then I remember having one (all of them featured me becoming numb and apathetic during them) but after my last one I woke up feeling completely different. All the stress I once had over the years disappeared, and I felt stronger and better. Superior to my old self. My friends noticed I changed as well. I seem to not be hindered by the pain and stress I had felt before, even though I've considered the concept that I could be in one big mental breakdown that's been spanning over a year, but I doubt that to be the case. I've done things that go against the morality of my former self, and if I were still my former self I'd be crying my eyes out about how such a terrible monster I am! Weak. I don't know what I have, I don't claim to know, nor do I care to know. My friends call me a psychopath, they made me take some online test, they asked the questions and would answer on their side so that I couldn't lie and apparently to them, I'm a psychopath. I don't believe in the validity of online tests. I don't see myself as a psychopath. I shall be done with that said tangent.

I also remember this song. 




I used to just listen to a lot of dubstep. I was also a big doctor who fan around that time, and also still my ages of transhumanist fanatic. Which I still am, but that was still a different time for me. 


Those were the days of my old minecraft friends, I recall we'd stay up late together on minecraft servers in skype calls. Those were fun times, even if it's a little hazy. Some of them disappeared, there was a girl I knew that just basically dropped off the face of the earth and I was trying to find a way to contact her. She was a pretty cool friend. 

Regardless of this nostalgia, I still recognize what I have set as my future, and I consider my goals and such more important. 

Alright there's where I'll leave it until I think of more, or this can just die to the activity of this forum and buried under the rest of the dead threads.