nightmare on elm street :) halloween theme music video <3

Blanc · 2019-09-26T20:01:32.6600000

grab your pumpkin spice latte and get ready to get SPOOKY

if u want to understand what I was doing with this music video

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Nightmare_on_Elm_Street

my last one I was trying to portray dissociation with Rothko chapel, Rothko was known for how his paintings seemed to float onto of each other when you stared at them. it's also about depression, what it's like having depression. hence the name, I believe Rothko's final work the Rothko chapel was the epitome of what one's mind faces when brought to your knees, or to the final points of depression and what, the world looks like, and feels like, when one is living through a, severe crisis with depression and suicide. something I faced and went through myself at one time. nothing describes it better than his work, which you can only understand if you step inside of it, ironically. a beautiful portrayal of something so difficult to describe with words. but visiting this chapel will show someone what it's like. it really will. if you just spend 15 20 minutes in there, you want to get out. with depression, you can't. Rothko committed suicide after the completion of Rothko chapel. that's how dark, and mind bending this place is. I think if anyone spent too long in there alone, you'd see why people kill themselves as a result of depression, you really would.

this one is about fear that comes with ptsd, and the effects of ptsd and how terrifying it can be sometimes, to live with the symptoms of ptsd.

it's something that isn't talked about or known about commonly, but it's quite mind bending at times and, you're surrounded or trapped in your own nightmares sometimes the brain can create. like sometimes I wake up and it takes me a minute to ground myself and remind myself, that's not real, I'm not there- I'm here.

and the treatment process of ptsd is a bit like a maze, diving down and finding things, and having to put all the clues together to make a whole picture again. and if you don't, you just remain trapped in it forever essentially and you become more and more hopeless, with the feeling of there being no way out-

and that's why a staggering 43% of people diagnosed with ptsd as a result of rape, commit suicide. as a way out. this music video is about sexual assault, domestic violence (people with ptsd as a result of physical assault will attempt suicide 73.5% of the time) and how you walk into a relationship not knowing that it's going to turn into a nightmare so severe, it will plague you for the rest of your life

the experience of ptsd is more, surreal and horrifying than, ants crawling out of a hole in your hand, or, being surrounded by thousands of spiders- or waking up to the sight of two dead children haunting you, standing over you.

there are clips also about dissociation, running away, and the feeling of being watched from behind. as well as, a talking man who only functions when you put the coin in the machine. this is about dissociative identity disorder, and the woman in the gas mask is what it feels like to be separated from all emotion, as she chooses which emotion to put on display, or let come to life- as it is queued with a quarter. but otherwise- the pain hidden deep inside, remains dormant, and trapped- in a glass box. as it is often repressed, and she chooses not to look at it.

imagine being put into a position where it's life or death, and to beg and please with your attacker, you make promises of keeping it a secret.

"I won't tell anyone." hoping after he rapes you, he won't kill you too.

the reason I titled it after the nightmare on elm street film is because of what the film represents, which is also what, my film represents but- in a more real sense. applied to ptsd. which is that, often waking up, it can become difficult to differentiate nightmare and reality and they blend together. sometimes it takes several hours to feel safe again- and this can happen during panic attacks from triggers as well. reality becomes distorted, and you "sink" into an alternate place where you are trapped.

you're screaming it get out, but you can't. because, you're simply locked in and trapped in this horrible place of pure, panic and fear- where your brain believes you are in an unsafe place. often, the jarring and horrifying positions you were put in, many years ago. you relive them.

people with ptsd are also plagued with nightmares. not sure if anyone knew that but. I have more bad dreams than good ones, and they're all incredibly vivid. fear and anxiety manifests in the worst ways imaginable. and the dreams are so disorienting you wake up feeling lost- or even questioning reality. because they're so dark, and twisted.

it's not just your average scary dream, these are the kind of dreams that fuck with your mind on another level. they're like living in a psychological thriller or a horror film, and you can't wake up. they do things to your mind that no ordinary dream could do and, even could push one to suicide.

everything about the film though, represents not only experiences I've had with mental illness but also are metaphorical portrayals of things I have experienced in my regular life. the plot, the characters, all represent something that I have gone through and can relate to.

nightmare on elm street essentially is about my life.

the reason why you see a lot of themes from the day of the dead is because the person who abused me was Mexican, a lot of my abuse happened in Mexico, after the day of the dead, that was the last month I spent in Mexico before I up and left.

the guy who abused me, got a tattoo after I left him, over his heart where I actually scratched my nails into his chest. as payback for what he did to me, I didn't care if it would leave a scar. the tattoo he got was a day of the dead candy skull. to cover the scar.

he loved to act like I hurt him, but he doesn't know about the world of "hurt" I was thrust into from the psychological torment of ptsd from what he put me through. and this music video is, a depiction of that world.

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