Xadem picks Luna up in his car. The car is an older model, slightly rusted, and red. His liscense plate reads ARSE. The interior of the car is filled with empty beer bottles, and dirty adult diapers hidden underneath them. The air smells faintly of feces and Luna plugs her nose.*
Xadem: Welcome to the ARSEMOBILE, my queen.
Luna: Yeeeeah, I never thought I would be doing this with you of all people.... *nervous laughter*
Xadem: Yeah wellll SHIT happens. *laughtrack*
Luna: Do you have an air freshener?
Xadem: *farts* That's the only air freshener I need.
Luna: *gags* Please tell me we are almost to the restaurant.
Xadem: We are almost to the restaurant.
Luna: Thank god, your car is disgusting.
Xadem: SIKE!
Luna: *groans*
Xadem: You said please.
*Twenty minutes go by and they arrive at the restaurant: Barney's Bean Shack. They go in and take their seats.*
Waiter: May I take your order sir?
Xadem: BEANS, LOADS OF BEANS!
Luna: I'll have a burger with fries.
Waiter: Sorry maam, we only have bean creations here.
Luna: I'll just have a drink then.
*The waiter leaves. Luna scowls as he walks away.*
Luna: You could have chosen any restaurant to please me, but you chose this awful place.
Xadem: Suit yourself, I ONLY eat here.
Luna: Why would anybody only eat here?
Xadem: The truth is..... I have terminal constipation syndrome. If I do not shit enough, my stomach will explode and I will die.
Luna: Are you fucking serious?
Xadem: Yes. This is why I can only think about poop. If I do not poop enough, I die. I do this for my own survival.
Luna: I may have to leave for my own survival...
*The waiter comes in and serves Xadem a whole platter of beans. He digs in.*
Xadem: *talking with his mouth full* THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD!
Luna: *sipping water* I'm sure it is.
*The whole restaurant begins shaking*
Xadem: HERRRRRRRRRRE IT COMES!
*A fart faster than the speed of sound unleashes a sonic boom in the room, breaking Luna's water.*
Luna: *yelling* WAIT A MINUTE, IF YOU ARE SO CONSTIPATED WHY IS YOUR CAR FILLED WITH DIAPERS?!
Xadem: I'm not, KEK.
> *Luna flips the table and storms out of the restaurant.*
Xadem: Wow what a stuck up bitch.
Luna: What a filthy degenerate.
Both: They were kinda hot tho.
*And thus began the fued between Luna and Xadem*
My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
