Sociopath Community

@17:32 try cbd 

turncoat is really knowledgable on this stuff as well and can tell you about medical marijuana and what strains to use for specific issues 

https://www.livwell.com/marijuana-terpenes/ 

there've been strains to treat insomnia, asthma, and of course anxiety... and a whole lot more. it's capable of being more than just a drug to get high on. 

benzos really helped me but i developed an addiction to them so i started finding other means to deal with my anxiety issues

@0:44 she talks about some edibles that work for her

the withdrawal from benzos is pure hell... i really don't recommend it. 

i developed a tolerance so quick, and i found myself needing to take it like every four hours, and then it had to be higher doses and higher frequency... and it also made me like "high" acting like, i had pretty significant memory black outs while on it. 

it helped me be more sociable, lighter, happier. took away my severe suicidal ideation i was dealing with at the time or could wind down a panic attack just as it was beginning to creep in. it helped me go to bed when i was too antsy to do so. 

but i really don't think benzos are something that should be used at home, all the time like, a regular psychiatric medication like an SSRI or something. They're more of an "ass needed" drug for very severe crisis situations or, the occassional issue for people with panic disorders like- someone that literally can't handle planes. Take a xanax to handle a flight. etc. (but have someone with you to baby sit you because you might be too looped to, function safely for yourself) 

but taking it regularly really can also have really negative side effects like, for me it took away my suicidality- but then when i *wasn't* taking it- it amped up my suicidalit by 100x. not even joking. it brought my mind to a place so dark, i have never, ever seen a place that dark before i don't even know how to describe it and i didn't know it was possible. that's just from not, having it in the system 24/7. hell. 

and then, the withdrawals, from not having it in the system for more then 2/3 days after you've been taking it even just intermittently- not 24/7. it's like, bedridden. severe pain head to toe. shaking. nausea, possible vomiting. it's worse than any terrible flu or foodpoisoning you've had. it's 10x worse than both of those things combined. 

and it's incessant. there is no like "oh i think i feel better now." it's constant hell, at first. and then when you think it couldn't possible get any worse it does. and it does that for about three weeks. just worsening, and worsening, and worsening. and all you can think about is caving and taking that goddamn pill, or just offing yourself because it's so fucking hard. 

you just wanna knock yourself out completely to not have to experience the pain, and the mental and physical hell you're in. 

i really, recommend taking this drug lightly. it's, a serious thing. 

people write it off as like a casual drug but, this is not anyting casual. this is, a serious, hardcore, drug. you can develop serious life long addiction. 

there can be negative mental affects like i talked about with increased suicidality etc. that can be basically dangerous. 

and you can also develop something called PAWS from prolonged use of it. 

in my opinion, honest to god. this is for crisis moments only. i'm talking- few times a year max. 

but if you do decide to take it start on a really low dose. because you will inevitably want to go higher. the tolerance develops so so fast with this shit.

i love benzos, i love the feel of them. but i met people who were in rehab just for benzos. they start out taking it for the same reasons you're talking about, and it just spirals out of control. so i would just be hella careful with these little devil pills lol 

they're heaven. but also hell. people think they're immune to experiencing the repurcussions of using a drug like this but they're not. no one is lol 

Blanc said: 

the withdrawal from benzos is pure hell... i really don't recommend it. 

 

i developed a tolerance so quick, and i found myself needing to take it like every four hours, and then it had to be higher doses and higher frequency... and it also made me like "high" acting like, i had pretty significant memory black outs while on it. 

 

it helped me be more sociable, lighter, happier. took away my severe suicidal ideation i was dealing with at the time or could wind down a panic attack just as it was beginning to creep in. it helped me go to bed when i was too antsy to do so. 

 

but i really don't think benzos are something that should be used at home, all the time like, a regular psychiatric medication like an SSRI or something. They're more of an "ass needed" drug for very severe crisis situations or, the occassional issue for people with panic disorders like- someone that literally can't handle planes. Take a xanax to handle a flight. etc. (but have someone with you to baby sit you because you might be too looped to, function safely for yourself) 

 

but taking it regularly really can also have really negative side effects like, for me it took away my suicidality- but then when i *wasn't* taking it- it amped up my suicidalit by 100x. not even joking. it brought my mind to a place so dark, i have never, ever seen a place that dark before i don't even know how to describe it and i didn't know it was possible. that's just from not, having it in the system 24/7. hell. 

 

and then, the withdrawals, from not having it in the system for more then 2/3 days after you've been taking it even just intermittently- not 24/7. it's like, bedridden. severe pain head to toe. shaking. nausea, possible vomiting. it's worse than any terrible flu or foodpoisoning you've had. it's 10x worse than both of those things combined. 

 

and it's incessant. there is no like "oh i think i feel better now." it's constant hell, at first. and then when you think it couldn't possible get any worse it does. and it does that for about three weeks. just worsening, and worsening, and worsening. and all you can think about is caving and taking that goddamn pill, or just offing yourself because it's so fucking hard. 

 

you just wanna knock yourself out completely to not have to experience the pain, and the mental and physical hell you're in. 

 

i really, recommend taking this drug lightly. it's, a serious thing. 

 

people write it off as like a casual drug but, this is not anyting casual. this is, a serious, hardcore, drug. you can develop serious life long addiction. 

 

there can be negative mental affects like i talked about with increased suicidality etc. that can be basically dangerous. 

 

and you can also develop something called PAWS from prolonged use of it. 

 

in my opinion, honest to god. this is for crisis moments only. i'm talking- few times a year max. 

 

but if you do decide to take it start on a really low dose. because you will inevitably want to go higher. the tolerance develops so so fast with this shit.

 

i love benzos, i love the feel of them. but i met people who were in rehab just for benzos. they start out taking it for the same reasons you're talking about, and it just spirals out of control. so i would just be hella careful with these little devil pills lol 

 

they're heaven. but also hell. people think they're immune to experiencing the repurcussions of using a drug like this but they're not. no one is lol 

 blancy I know, i said I only would take it for appointments and for family stuff not as an every day 3 times a day thing. like probably 3 or 4 times a week at most

but ya im aware of the dangers of withdrawals and its what im most concerned about but as long as i only take it at most 4 doses a week i wouldn't have withdrawal issues right?

I had a thing for opiates before (still do but dont have as easy access to them) and I figured out a way to schedule out taking it so that i could still enjoy it without having to up the dosage or get addicted

im planning to try the same with xanax. and xanax works way better for wanting to isolate than opiates do, it didnt make me more social it just made me feel super warm and happy and euphoric you know how they feel:p actually I am more of a bitch on opiates especially if anyone does anything to fuck with my high lol. but xanax does encourage me to be more social

that's what i'm saying though, by intermittently i meant 3-4 times a week is already too much and you will form physiological addiction to it and experience withdrawal from this. 

even just once or twice a week is enough to do the trick. and you'll be experiencing withdrawal hell. 

that's why 'im just warning you to be extremely careful with this and why i recommend 3-4 times a year max.

xanax and other anti-anxieties help me be more social too but, so does weed. just a bit giggly with the weed. 

klonopin i'm a very fun happy time to be around but, i'm basically high and won't remember any of it. 

opiates do make me a lot angrier like, i know what you mean. i def don't want anyone fucking with me

I will try cbd oil today and see if it helps at all I dont have high hopes for it but ill try who knows. the natural stuff never seems to be strong enough for my anxiety 

okurr ;) 

weed makes me paranoid as fuck tho lol any strain of it but I've heard that cbd oil doesnt have thc and maybe its the thc that makes me paranoid 

I used to be basically a stoner off and on for a few years I would go through lengths of time smoking every day but eventually the paranoia started being too intense and i quit probably permanently, i still miss it sometimes but I know if I do smoke again ill probably regret it. because its consistently made me paranoid