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Funny Tweaker Stories from Hawaii (aka parad-ICE)


Posts: 2230

Tweaker 1- crazy black guy

This tweaker was a black man who ran around shirtless and had a long shaggy white beard. The humor comes from the fact that we saw him over the course of three days through his whole meth journey. First he was arguing with people at the supermarket, then he was flailing in the middle of the road at midnight, then he was grabbing his nuts and running in circles. Then we saw him passed out on the sidewalk.

Tweaker 2- crazy cart lady

This tweaker was sighted briefly walking down the road with a shopping cart filled with cans screaming cuss words at any and all passerby.

Tweaker 3- calm white dude

This tweaker revealed his tweakerhood to us calmly after Delora unwittingly talked about her fear of tweakers to him. Turns out that he himself was a tweaker, no shit. He said "this speed keeps me going, I take it to rebel against a society that fucked me". Actually a cool guy, the conversation was substantial.

Tweaker 4- Peter

This was an extended encounter that lasted like an hour. It was the night me and Delora had fled from the roommates, and we were chilling on a bench outside the hospital. He eerily sits next to us and comments on how we are in need of a prayer and are in a "frightening situation". He goes on a lot about god and offers to walk with us in case we get jumped. He starts talking about how great meth is, and even starts yelling "I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU THE POWER IT GIVES YOU!!!". He crosses a street with cars going on it and says "pedestrians have the right of way, fuck you." He reveals that he had been up for 8 days. We go into a 7 11 and get some energy drinks, then Peter finds 50 bucks on the ground and praises the lord. We walk until we get to a place he claimed was somewhere he could get a shower, but we later learn it was actually a gambling den. We decide at that moment to part ways with Peter.

Tweaker 5- Spiderman 

A tweaker of the legends, spiderman was a tweaker that used to wear a spiderman mask and throw bicycles at other tweakers that attacked random people to save the day. He also would chase people who crossed the road incorrectly to teach them a lesson about respect. Additionally, he began to engage in an abusive relationship with a traffic cone he carried around; first caressing and cooing at it, then throwing it on the ground and calling it a bitch, then picking it back up and begging it for forgiveness. It turns out...... Spiderman was the valedictorian of his graduating class and as actually capable of intellectual discussion when not methed out.

My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
Posts: 1937
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...

You hand around tweakers alot. And I was wondering why you seemed so hyper and grandiose lately. Enjoy the clouds

2:48Spatial Mind The guy was sticking his dick in an infants mouth, it was so fucking disturbing
Posts: 2230
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...

You hand around tweakers alot. And I was wondering why you seemed so hyper and grandiose lately. Enjoy the clouds

 A gross misrepresentation 

My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
Posts: 1354
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...

I used to write about other people as you do Much better just to experience life than to get it all down 

Posts: 2230
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...
bleary said: 

I used to write about other people as you do Much better just to experience life than to get it all down 

 I write about whatever's on my mind, and since my mind is so complex- that's a lot to choose from.

My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
Posts: 854
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...
bleary said: 

I used to write about other people as you do Much better just to experience life than to get it all down 

 I write about whatever's on my mind, and since my mind is so complex- that's a lot to choose from.

 your dick is complex.

stony brook is a really good school
Posts: 32797
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...
bleary said: 

I used to write about other people as you do Much better just to experience life than to get it all down 

Why? 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
Posts: 105
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...
bleary said: 

I used to write about other people as you do Much better just to experience life than to get it all down 

 I write about whatever's on my mind, and since my mind is so complex- that's a lot to choose from.

 your dick is complex.

 tfw your wife likes you only for your dick.

Posts: 32797
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...
Thresh said: 
bleary said: 

I used to write about other people as you do Much better just to experience life than to get it all down 

 I write about whatever's on my mind, and since my mind is so complex- that's a lot to choose from.

 your dick is complex.

 tfw your wife likes you only for your dick.

Her last narrative about it sounded kinda bored with it. 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
Posts: 2230
0 votes RE: Funny Tweaker Stories f...
Thresh said: 
bleary said: 

I used to write about other people as you do Much better just to experience life than to get it all down 

 I write about whatever's on my mind, and since my mind is so complex- that's a lot to choose from.

 your dick is complex.

 tfw your wife likes you only for your dick.

Her last narrative about it sounded kinda bored with it. 

 Her aren't even living at the same place so I agree she is bored. I'd be bored too if I was away from me.

My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
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