Stephanie.
The only thing you're good at is fucking up other people. I don't entirely blame you, you're childhood was such that you had to learn to be manipulative in order to survive. Trauma interrupted the forming of your identity and you were left to try to gain some feeling of substance and worth by parasitically feeding off the people around you, mimicking the qualities of theirs you enjoyed or found beneficial until they had nothing left to give you and you moved on to new pastures. Constantly chasing validation and terrified of being alone to face yourself. I don't believe you are capable of feeling certain emotions. Or if you are then you have buried them out of fear. I feel nothing when you cry because the mystery behind your pantomime has been shattered for me. You're exhausting. I wouldn't blame you for killing yourself, it's tiring even being around you some of the time. The amount of effort and validation you require is beyond the scope of one man, you will cheat on Xadem like you cheated on me when I stopped treating you as my full time job. Being with you is like constantly role playing without knowing what role is going to be thrust upon you in the moment. You're a walking contradiction and you'll never be entirely healthy and functional because your formative years are too far gone. You've been in therapy for how long? And you still want to kill yourself. You would if you weren't such a coward, terrified that when you die God will judge you as the monster you have been. You say the life we had was worse than death, that's because being with you was a living hell. But you are good at breaking people down and making them depend on you. I hope you get some better help, or kill yourself so you can't destroy anyone else.
