So, I'll go on the record and just admit it- my family is nuts. From bipolars to schizoids to paranoia, the show never ends with them. One family in particular had a very specific issue- he literally believed he was archangel Uriel. Now, I did not know this yet, but what I did know is that he was getting into this weird spiritual shit on Facebook, joining new age type groups with spacey profile pictures and more crazy shit. Well, this piqued the interest of me and my cousin, so we decided to investigate his groups by infiltrating them. Before we could infiltrate, we had to create a suitable facebook account to carry out said infiltration. We went with the name "fifth dimensional being" and used this profile picture:
So basically, it was Spatial Mind's profile pic.
Anyway, we take this account and join the public group, making posts seeking to share our interdimensional "wisdom" the spiritualists fall for it, and invite us into their private facebook group, but it doesn't contain my uncle. So, we hatched up a plot where me and my cousin try to join with our real accounts. and then using the fifth dimensional being we PM him and warn him of a "great evil" targeting me and my cousin from within the group. My uncle falls for it, and invites it to a private facebook groupchat to explain the situation to the people in it. Well, we quickly learn these people are nuts. Half of them believed they were in essence, an archangel of some sort (including my uncle) and could use telepathic powers to send eachother energy, throw "fireballs" into the minds of others to attack them spiritually, and communicate. No like, literally- people would act like they were possessed by demons and then the others would claim to be "throwing fireballs" at them to stop the possession. They called themselves "empaths and lightworkers".
Well, crafty little fuckers we were, me and my cousin spoke of all of our great feats in the spiritual realm. It impressed even the seniors of the group. We gave practical life advice peppered with spiritual ramblings and soon enough, everyone in it was going to us for advice. Since they were all proper fruitcakes, we had plenty of advice to give. One particular fruitcake was just a little bit crazier than the others. His name was Mark but he called himself "Puff Puff". And he didn't just consider himself an angel, he considered himself a dragon. Not just any dragon, but the almighty dragon god of the universe, the norse god Odin, Kratos, and the great Buddha. He would "breath fire" at anyone in the group who dare question him. Me and my cousin decided it'd be funny to mess with him, so we came up with another plan- we told the group that we detected me and my cousin were in great danger and needed to be talked to ASAP, and then they added our primary FB accounts. On those accounts, we proceeded to act possessed and claimed to see visions of an angry giant with a giant hammer flashing in our minds. The group angrily turned on "Puff Puff", and seeing that Puff Puff couldn't handle anything, he went into a delusional rage and vowed to "punish" the entire group.
And so, from this show- a schism was formed in the group. Puff Puff and his supporters were angrily looking for whoever "actually possessed" me and my cousin, while my uncle spearheaded a campaign to attack Puff Puff. They had these dramatic "telepathic wars" in the chat. Puff puff and our primary accounts communicated a little bit, they did not suspect it was us as the fifth dimensional being at all. To further the plot, we changed the fifth dimensional being's profile pic to this-
After this, we made the character become increasingly chaotic in personality, darker, and sadistic. The people in the group began to think that Puff Puff was possessing their "fifth dimensional being" and this escalated the war. The thing about Puff Puff is, he was also a creep. He would use his initial charm and insane beliefs to get the mentally bruised females in the group to fall for him and when they became disillusioned, flip out and call them whores. My uncle lost tolerance for this, and he decided to attack Puff Puff in a private chat with me, my cousin, and the fifth dimensional being, and our Trump card was this- Puff Puff was a pedo, and only my uncle knew about it. So we made the chat and roasted the fuck out of him, this prompted many voice messages from Puff Puff where he would do things like roar as a dragon, call himself "Kratos" and yell "DO NOT FUCKING TEST ME". Or, my favorite voice snippet from him-
"Hrrrmmmm you don't understannnd, I am Kratos, Kratooos.... grrrrrr, stop iiiiiit.... you cry like little fucking babyyyyy, CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY!!!!"
It was kind of fucking hilarious. Well anyway, the Puff Puff saga lasted awhile, and the group's schism got so severe that it splintered into many groups, and eventually they got rude to me and my cousin personally (we had gotten kinda trolley ourselves, granted) and we said fuck it and outed our own puppet account, much to my uncle's fury.
But, he got over it, and since then we get the occasional rundown of the latest Puff Puff news and it's all chill.
Anyway, the end.
