WASHINGTON (AP) — Luna's fat ass is expanding faster than it used to, meaning it's about a billion miles phatter than we thought, a new study by a Nobel Prize winner says.
At issue is a number called the tHiCCnEss constant, a calculation for how quickly that dense colossus of a rear-end is expanding. Some scientists call it the most important number in cosmology, the study of the origin and development of Luna's massive fucking ass. There is a general consensus in the community that Luna's overweight, sweaty arse might have been the catalyst behind what we call the Big Bang.
Researcher John Hopkins adds: If we manage to crack the code, or track the crack as we say, the mystery behind Luna's exponentially growing ass could lead us to understand more about the origin of our universe.
One thing is for sure: These findings are sure to stretch our understanding of her obese fucking arse on a cosmological scale.