Why I love being an athlete. - 1 - Sociopath Community

From swimming all the way to small islands off shore that people tell me is dangerous and only for experienced swimmers over and over again, to gradually building my ability to deadlift and bench, to slowly getting better at climbing banyans and ignoring the centipedes inside them so I can jump from one banyan to another like a fucking human squirrel

I have always been a person with a lot of energy

With a lot of fire

And a lot of drive.

I have had many mentors. But the ones who push me to be the most can be by challenging me almost like a dare

Rather than lying too or manipulating me in an effort to contain or control my fire

Were the ones who succeeded.

Because eventually I see authority as a challenge and there is a drive inside me to always test it.

A competitive little ego that hides behind my friendliness

The authoritive women in my life have never known what to do with me. Men typically did better when I was growing up.

I had that urge to get into fights

I was aggressive

I was hyper

I was mischievous and sneaky

I had that ego

And I had that anger problem.

Women would try to teach me to *hide* it but my kind of energy that made me want to explode was always different than theirs and more difficult to hide.

When I was in the institution I used to JUMP ON ADULTS AND BITE THEM.

one day a staff member at the institution pinned me to the wall

And told me true strength was self control and a fire going in every direction is ultimately pointless.

I had respect for him because he wasn't afraid of me.

When I would escape solitary confinement I always ran where he could see me and see if he would try to catch me

And he usually would.

And I saw it like a game.

Eventually he was seemingly surprised to be able to reason with me.

"Where are you going?" He would yell

I would reply- "the woods!" Hahaha.

Anyway he was the one who made it so I could visit with my little brother in his building.

Because I also would scream at him about how I'm going to go get my brother and take him into the forest with me.

I wanted to run away so badly. But I never could without my little brother. Because I always loved my little brother more than myself and always will. And I could have run away- but I wouldn't. Without him. But he was too mentally disabled to run away with me.

Eventually he stopped and said "I will discuss your visitation with your younger brother if you agree to come with me, and when you and I are working together I will try to avoid putting you in the (solitary confinement) the quiet room.

And he would say "your brother is very special and you know it. You can't take your brother to the woods."

And I realized he was right. And I told him

"If I don't see my little brother soon I will bust your jaw with my head and bite your face like I did that woman."

So I went to solitary confinement with him. And I sat at the desk outside of the room.

(I am starting to feel extremely self conscious and embarrassed writing this and I don't know why)

And after some days I did eventually have my brother brought over

And when I saw him, I was crying.

And I didn't know or understand why I was crying.

But I started thinking these visits with him wouldn't help us both escape.

Because there were always staff members by the doors. even if I did understand they got distracted and zoned out and got false senses of security where I could escape, and catch them off guard.

But they were blocking the doorway and there were definitely more than 2 people

And I knew if they caught me it could be the end of visits with my brother

One day they stopped having our visits

And just never seemed to pick them back up.

I beat myself up for not rescuing my brother.

I was just so afraid of not seeing him.

Delora said:
From swimming all the way to small islands off shore that people tell me is dangerous and only for experienced swimmers over and over again, to gradually building my ability to deadlift and bench, to slowly getting better at climbing banyans and ignoring the centipedes inside them so I can jump from one banyan to another like a fucking human squirrel

I remember when you were live streaming, you were going to paddle to a nearby island on a flutterboard.

I'm in your chat like "No ! please no ! don't do it ! You'll drift out to sea and die !"

You couldn't travel straight and started drifting out to sea and had to be rescued by baywatch. They probably sent a boat. If you drifted too far, you'd be extremely difficult to spot in the sea.

What would've happened if you were lost at sea. The salt water will start eating your flesh like acid, you'll be thirsty with nothing to drink, and the Sun will beat your ass for every day you survive. and the nights will be cold and pitch black with nothing to see but the stars in the sky. High chance of shark attack since you'll kinda be bleeding out and decomposing.

Swimming between 2 Islands is even worse, the land masses create gulfstreams that can fuck up even experienced swimmers, it's not possible to swim fast in the sea.

The nearest Island to Hawaii is Maui.

Gemini said:
Swimming directly from the island of Hawaii (the Big Island) to Maui means crossing the infamous 'Alenuihāhā Channel. It is a brutal 30-mile (48 km) stretch of open ocean known for massive swells, violent winds, strong currents, and dangerous marine life.

Takes 10 hours to walk that far.

Gemini went on about the dangerous being wildlife and currents. A handful of people swam it being followed and supervised by a team on a boat. Someone completed the swim in 22 hours. On foot it takes 15-20 minutes to travel a mile, this person was moving at 1 mile per hour in the sea.

Swimming to the Mokes is more doable for the athletic swimmer.

See that guy in the video. It's nice that he beat his fear, but if you said "Hey man, do you think swimming out there is a smart thing to do ?" He might get offended.