Sociopath Community

My earliest memories are on the dusty desert part of Oahu. Though I was born in Maryland, I was brought to Hawaii as a baby onto the military base. 

My earliest memories are of eating egg and ketchup sandwiches made from the free food provided to new military families 

And my mother trying her best to stretch our food. 

When I was little I had a playset of toys made from wood and Velcro and the toys were food and the pieces could fit together to make an entire eggplant or tomato but be pieced back into a whole again. 

My mother used to dumpster dive for toys by the airmen's attic on base and I even got a crocodile book that could open and close it's mouth. 

But I still didn't have a lot of toys yet at this time in my life and I wasn't allowed to watch TV so I was really bored. 

But we did have a trampoline and I liked jumping on it and would play a lot of pretend games. 

I didn't do very well when I was first put in school because I talked too much and I kept escaping. 

Being a military brat when I was a kid we moved a lot so I'm trying to remember what house was where and dividing the different chapters in my life based on what house was which? 

I have always been a good singer for as long as I can remember. Staff and teachers used to ask me to sing for them and I always loved it. Although I didn't always understand or care that there was a time or a place and burst out into song while the teacher was trying to teach. I was seen as a weird kid and didn't have many friends. I was very quickly put in the special needs class for problem students. My brother went to the same school as me but he was in a different class. Sometimes though I would see him in the hallway.

The kitchen was strawberry themed. I used to hide under the table here when they tried me on new meds. The meds made me act very strange. 

I had a singing carrot doll. 

I remember seeing it on the floor. 

I remember crawling on the floor and grabbing a sippy cup. 

I remember a lot of screaming. I remember my father throwing my toy car across my bedroom in fury that it was a mess, angry at my mom for not keeping every room in the house in perfect order 

Despite having 2 autistic children 

I remember the car, my favorite thing, crashing into pieces up against the wall. 

I remember another incident where I was lifted up by my throat. 

In the living room where we framed the butterfly specimens 

The physical abuse got worse. 

I tried to run away to another families house but of course I got beat for it when I was found. 

I got so excited by the story goldylocks and the three bears 

I thought maybe if a I ran away another family would adopt me. 

I felt very alone as a child 

Very unheard. 

Hehehe hehehe 🩷 look at her cute little toes

Let's run the vacuum over them 

Haha hey that's a great idea!  It will tickle!

Ok let's see what happens when we 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH AAAAAAAUHH NO STOP!" 

QUICK pick her up TAKE HER TO THE SINK! this is all your fault! 

No it's your fault 

No it's your fault! 

Wash her feet- 

"If you don't eat your cereal in 5 minutes you will be beaten "

But it's soggy and I am afraid of eating soggy food (autism) 

"We do not care. Eat your cereal." 

I did not manage to eat it all. And I was very stressed out by the time limit. 

I was beaten so hard I threw my cereal up on the floor and then had to try and clean it up while I was still shaking violently. As I threw up more while trying to mop up the vomit with a rag. 

I was 5 years old. 

I was never afraid of any food except sour cream (which I use in my garlic sauce recipe not as a topping) or olives. Doctors are surprised my nutrients are fine cause I love a lot of food diversity.

I used to think I hated mayo but it's not so bad especially as a sauce base. I don't eat ketchup cause mustard is so much better. But yeah for cereal I like a little bit of milk and not too much cereal it helps focus the flavor and crispiness.