Sometimes 8 Wonder if the reason people treat me differently is because maybe I am ugly? I must be ugly.
People will treat you differently when they see something about you that either pleases them, or bothers them. If they treat you differently it could be good or bad. When they treat you bad for no good reason, it's because you're wearing something on your sleeve, and they can see it, and it makes them feel little. When you showcase certain qualities, how you behave, are you polite, or whatever gestures about you, it works like a mirror.
People with the audacity to mistreat others for no good reason aren't exactly the prime example themselves.
Would I know if I was? Would I juat be so used to my ugly face I dont see the ugliness? Honestly, I do not care if I am ugly or not. What I care about is, do I have a certain disadvantage?
Your disadvantage isn't based on appearance. If you ask me what's unappealing about you would be your victim mindset. It's a real drag and it does repel people.
All the shit in the past is supposed to make us stronger. If you never been through all that shit, you'd be worse off on this planet. But you've been through worse, and you've seen worse, and that was quite a while ago.
For a guy, when we have a victim mindset we become emasculated and unattractive. Look at that guy with the yellow rabbit. Weaksauce. Ain't getting none. He embraces chaos while stuck on the same political subjects that make him tremble before he falls asleep. That's the complete opposite of what men aspire to be, and what females expect from a good catch. That being said it's okay to be depressed once in awhile, but if it carries on that's very cringe, even if the subject is a woman.
When you go back to school, you'll come here less cause you'll have things to do. This is similar to the past. If you think about it, keep it quiet. Tell no one, and it'll begin to cross your mind less. If you spill trauma to others, you'll create distance between you and them. Don't expect sympathy when your doom and gloom keeps rolling off of you cause what it does is make people feel like tampons or emotional dumping grounds.
I have a whole heap of your images, many from the live streaming with Ice and EBZ.
I don't watch their shows, but I know how they generally treat women. They don't treat them with much respect cause the women who usually show up on their show are usually for the streets. Not you though. When you were on the show, they treated you like a lady and you looked like one. EBZ especially had your back, and was protecting you from getting hurt. Ice, never believed you, until that awkward confrontation you had with him on stream, where he asked if EBZ tried to smash you. You gave your answer, Ice was like "Really ?" and he was shocked. And he changed.
As it turned out they had respect for you. That moment was very uplifting and genuine. You were able to go along with them on trips, and they all went on about how much of a good person you are. That NEVER happens on those shows. You're not like the other female encounters they've had. Those guys, are bad boys, you know that right ? They'll fuck a bitch and ditch. They'll do it for the drama, and the hits, but they never did that to you, cause of what you represented. Yes there are people out there who don't like you, and it has nothing to do with you, cause there are countless others they don't like either. All that does is add value to people you take for granted.
If you want to know my personal opinion on your appearance. You look like some version of Carrie Fisher, and the Statue of Liberty. I have one image where you really look like the Statue of Liberty. It's the shape of your eyes, and how your noses bridge connects to your forehead.
I feel like other women are actually the meanest to me. It's like they think I'm "different"? somehow and they want to pick me apart for it?
Men don't usually notice or care if I'm weird. But other women will. I was told the bullying would get better when I got older.
Women don't like one another on the most part. Except my GF. She can talk to anyone and they'll be sweet as pie.
As it's always been, the ones who'll treat your the nicest are men. Despite how your Dad, and Noah both beat your ass for whatever reasons, your concerns is more with the women. In my opinion, don't look to women to grant you happiness or peace of mind. Yeah there are nice women too, but they're not the focus here, plus they can't help you either.
Popular people have a lot of acquaintances, but like everyone else, they either have very few, or no real friends. I'd go as far to say they have no real friends. They don't know who their real friends would be from where they stand. If they lose whatever quality or items make them popular, everyone is gone.
If you're rich and you flaunt your wealth, you'll attract bad people into your life. If you have a Lambo people will attach themselves to you, but when you lose it, you'll lose them.
I don't particularly think you're surrounded by people who'll use you. You only like the idea of making friends with those people, of what they could be, but in reality you really don't want them around you either based on what they've shown you.
This is all simple stuff you already know.
It's exactly the same. It just became different.
After I kissed another girl in school (which I was beaten for at home) I started being severely bullied for being queer.
Queer.
It was a word burned into my skin through hatred and pain, but something I have been trying to reclaim.
The thing about having autism, is that you don't always pick up on social cues, and you are not very good at defending from bullying and may already attract it was you are.
I wasn't happy at home. I at least wanted to be happy at school.
But I couldn't have that either.
When I went to Kennedy krieger though every student was too busy trying so fucking hard to just survive. One student was rumored to have died from staff and that was terrifying rumor because it made us realize in our situation we could have been killed. We were given weird medications and mine personally and also Jennifers made us feel like we were dying.
When you are at Kennedy krieger no one cares if you are gay. Everyone just cares about the horrible situation we were all in.
My peers who were there suffering with me
The ones where we all suffered together
Those people are forever a part of me in a way no one else can ever be.
The victim sympathy club. Whichever one of them grew a thick skin and evolved into someone who tanks bullshit effortlessly, is the finest of the lot.
99.9999999999999999999999% and beyond. Don't care if you're gay either. Basically 0. Only people who care if you're gay seem to be your parents, but if you told them, that will open old wounds. They'll have to examine themselves for how they reacted to you kissing a girl. Maybe they're obsessed with being grandparents. Honestly, you should tell them you're bisexual.
- You're cornered by the flame.
- The grass is greener on the other side of the flame.
- It's not nice in the flame, this is what you fear, but passing through it is better than remaining cornered by it because you do make it to the other side and it's nicer there.
If you make it to the other side, it would be unwise to make being queer your main theme.
Honestly, if you kissed a boy, they probably would've done the same thing. If you have an 8 year old making out with other kids it's not something to just shrug off. When I was a boy I've had Mother's chase me off with a stick just for hanging out with their daughters. Though one time they had a halloween party and there was the Mom, letting it happen. It was like entering the beast's den.
