When I was a child, my mom would load us up in the car when my dad abused me and say she was taking us to my grandma's house. I used to get so excited every time. Like I would finally get away from his abuse. Run in the Kentucky cow fields and pick tiger lilies by the creek. But my mother was afraid of going to hell for leaving my father - and she always turned the car back around because she was afraid. I used to run away with my gerbil, freud. (I liked psychology ok? I was a weird ass kid) and would get on my bike and ride up to the highway with plans to run away. But when I got to the highway - I was scared to bike on it
Like I might get run over by a car.
The physical abuse I endured would be pretty bad. My father denies it but I was choked, punched, kicked in the stomach ect (even though I had enlarged intestines and was prone to sepsis). I grew up terrified of my father. My mother was abusive too but at least if she went to Kentucky I wouldn't have been abused twice as much. When both parents are abusive - it's twice the abuse.
I was bullied by the local neighborhood kids too. And I didn't have any friends at school. All the other girls were starting to get little boyfriends but- I had a girl I wanted to be my "boyfriend"??? And that confused me. When I kissed her, the school called my parents and I was severely beaten. I was stripped naked, and beaten with a hanger while I tried to escape by backing up into the closet.
"The bible says- bla bla bla bla bla bla bla!!!!!!"
I used to love superheroes. They were everything I wasn't. Powerful. Loved. Capable.
I used to watch all the xmen and I really liked the character logan (the wolverine he has giant knives that come out of his hands)
My dad had old comics in the attic and I used to play in the attic by myself (now I see I was avoiding unsafe adults around me)
And I would read his old comic books up there.
I also really liked zelda I had the video game on my Gameboy
I used to chalk the different houses from my favorite village in the game and I had a Styrofoam sword and I always tried to get one of the neighbor kids to be the princess so I could save the princess.
No other children ever wanted to.
(I also broke my arm once by dressing up as a Griffin where I had a plastic kiddy pool on some monkey bars with raw steak and some dog bones up there to symbolize a nest full of dead animals I killed But it was propped up by a broon and I leaned over too far and fell on the ground and passed out and lost some teeth and broke my arm and had to go to the hospital where I proceeded to make angry eagle sounds at the poor nurses)
Anyway. I had a reputation.
But one day a little girl 2 years younger than me moved down the street across from my house (although we were the same age mentally, just not physically. because I had delayed developmental disorder)
She had leukemia and she wanted to play on our trampoline and in our pool and so she always wanted to play with me, and we used to pick crab Apples from the crab apple tree in her backyard and we got sick. But I thought the tiny sour apples were neat and I was amazed by them. So I would always tell her she could come do anything she wanted at my house as long as I got to play at the crab apple tree.
One of my favorite games, was to dismember Barbie dolls, cook them in the microwave, and throw them into the neighbors yard.
I was a terror think of if bart Simpson was a girl.
I used to tell my friend it wasn't fair, because she was bald and my parents made me have long hair and I didn't like having to brush it.
But she always wanted to be Rapunzel because she wanted long hair. And I always wanted to "kill stuff!!!"
She loved playing the princess. I had low self esteem so I told her she should always play the princess because princesses are pretty and she was the prettiest between us both.
She had to have radiation therapy and she always told me it hurt.
One day, anya had to move. And I said goodbye to her and saw her new house in with her better grandparents (she had abusive parents too. Trashy mom, dad missing from the picture) and she was moving in with her grandma. There were little fluffy dogs for her to play with. And real apple trees with big sweet apples. There was a field. And a pond. Her room was all pink and frilly -like a princess.. and the house was huge and beautiful.
I said goodbye to her. And I was so happy and so sad all at once and I didn't understand it.
Later I dropped by her moms house to see how she was doing. And on the mantle I saw an older anya smiling in he photo- with long, curly, golden blonde hair. Just like Rapunzel.
