Sociopath Community

basically everything, but most of all God.

Turncoat said: 

Xadem said: 

Turncoat said: 

Seeing kids turn from non-religious to Christian as I was growing up I actually took as scary instead of disappointing. Kids being so malleable at young ages made it look like it was stealing their souls, which led to an early stigma towards religious media and much debate and research as they metamorphosed right in front of me. 

I'm still weird and highly uncomfortable walking into churches. feel

That's actually pretty tragic. How hardcore Christian are we talking? And have you had a chance to see how those kids turned out as adults? 

It was a mixture, but the softer stuff scared me too conceptually. Around kindergarten and first grade was where I found it really haunting, as personalities are just forming somewhat, but the religious shift seemed a lot more jarring than just learning something in class. It really felt like walking into those buildings was somehow changing people like something out of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", especially when I'd see those who once argued against them start to talk like them later on in the year. 

Around the sixth grade I spent one to two months in a Lutheran school. It was a bad time. 

Sorry if I ask too many questions but, did you realise this all in the moment, or in hindsight? 

And also would you say that you've got an innate disinclination to religious dogma, or was it formed by these experiences? Maybe I was less perceptive as a youth, or I might be misinterpreting instinctual feelings you had, and later were able to frame, for conscious and fully-formed realisations. Like did you just feel that something was wrong with your buddies, or was it more like 10yo you thinking a "yea you're brainwashed" type of thing? 

Xadem said: 

Turncoat said: 

Xadem said: 

Turncoat said: 

Seeing kids turn from non-religious to Christian as I was growing up I actually took as scary instead of disappointing. Kids being so malleable at young ages made it look like it was stealing their souls, which led to an early stigma towards religious media and much debate and research as they metamorphosed right in front of me. 

I'm still weird and highly uncomfortable walking into churches. feel

That's actually pretty tragic. How hardcore Christian are we talking? And have you had a chance to see how those kids turned out as adults? 

It was a mixture, but the softer stuff scared me too conceptually. Around kindergarten and first grade was where I found it really haunting, as personalities are just forming somewhat, but the religious shift seemed a lot more jarring than just learning something in class. It really felt like walking into those buildings was somehow changing people like something out of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", especially when I'd see those who once argued against them start to talk like them later on in the year. 

Around the sixth grade I spent one to two months in a Lutheran school. It was a bad time. 

Sorry if I ask too many questions but, did you realise this all in the moment, or in hindsight? 

In hindsight I see it isn't really scary at all, just disappointing, and that understanding only came from debating with enough of them. 

In the moment it was like watching their individuality burn away, and that was legitimately haunting to my young eyes. At an age where our expressions and personalities could form through self-found ideas both right and wrong, these lot instead stop trying from "already having the answers", and with it my parasitically vicarious means of enjoying their company would go away not from them just accepting mundane answers, but from them no longer seeking them in creative ways either. 

It wouldn't be until the pre-teen years that more divergences would surface again with hormones. 

And also would you say that you've got an innate disinclination to religious dogma, or was it formed by these experiences?

Both. The prior mindset had to be there to see their shifts that dramatically, but if I hadn't seen it happening I'd likely have not fixated so much on the subject. 

Maybe I was less perceptive as a youth, or I might be misinterpreting instinctual feelings you had, and later were able to frame, for conscious and fully-formed realisations. Like did you just feel that something was wrong with your buddies, or was it more like 10yo you thinking a "yea you're brainwashed" type of thing? 

I went to a performing arts school for K-5. Not only am I already sensitive enough to read faces and body language, but I had childhood training related to it. Reading faces and body language, acting out parts, ballet dancing, martial arts, singing, this was all in the same school that taught us Math, Science, English, etc grade levels ahead. You had to keep your grades above a certain bar while also studying songs and scripts in order to stay in there, and the tuition was a bit insane. 

The kids there were all crazy sensitive, and we began as this shit stirring hive mind that knew we could have less work to do if we could collectively piss off our instructors. We'd just throw around ideas of how life worked based on our observations and adopt elements of them into our mindsets, and we from all having the same acting courses played the same sorts of people reading/acting games as a social exercise. There was a connection between these people that came from taking the same body reading classes, as our ability to read it towards each other instead made for stronger more honest communication. 

So yes, it was this sort of highly stimulating environment that had me watching the people I once hived with splitting off into their own little thing, and as I kept watching I saw the size of it grow as their reasoning shrank. Some sank into it immediately, but enough times there'd be a last breath of their philosophical individuality expressed as if they are just... tired, before they eventually sank into the faith. The sense of world wonder basically disappeared until given reason to rebel, and by then repression and taboo basically give them a God/Devil binary where they lose either way. 

I've always had a problem with religion (mostly Christianity), but the origin of it was less of a realistic reason why. I could just see it, hear it, and my atheism that sprung from it was my trying to take control of something that was otherwise out of my hands. It felt individually like they were acquiring mental knots that needed to be socially massaged out, but collectively like a virus upon the hive. It was an impurity. 

In form of media, definitely:

cawk scared me as a child