Sociopath Community

Turncoat said: 

Lena said: 

Cavalier said: 

 And side effects and withdrawal aren't an irrational fear that you need to "get over" - thet are a risk like any treatment and with psych treatments you often have to to through multiple before you get the right one. And even then, it doesn't cure the original condition, it just makes it more manageable.

 Yeah, exactly this. For me making it more manageable is absolutely worth the effort to try. I've been doing nothing medically about it for years and that clearly hadn't helped. For the first time in a long while I feel like the background noise has settled and isn't stuffing up my head like wet cotton. 

Underline's pretty much where I'm at now, that and room for a scholarship if I'm in treatment. They tried throwing meds at me before and I'd shut that down. 

I more find it odd how it feels like almost everyone I know is on some medication, now rather than before. 

 Are those people functioning? I'd like to think the pandemic year opened up discussion for mental health and therapy. it would make sense that a lot more people are looking into it especially now that it's been destigmatized in the last few years. 

Lena said: 

Turncoat said: 

Lena said: 

 Yeah, exactly this. For me making it more manageable is absolutely worth the effort to try. I've been doing nothing medically about it for years and that clearly hadn't helped. For the first time in a long while I feel like the background noise has settled and isn't stuffing up my head like wet cotton. 

Underline's pretty much where I'm at now, that and room for a scholarship if I'm in treatment. They tried throwing meds at me before and I'd shut that down. 

I more find it odd how it feels like almost everyone I know is on some medication, now rather than before. 

 Are those people functioning?

...see that's what scares me. 

They are. 

Years ago, they were not, and their med balance is too recent for me to gauge. 

I find it more concerning how easy it is to get meds since Trump. Isn't that weird? Shouldn't we be worried that the general market of pharma wants us on pills? 

...they wanted me on these pills when I was like 23, so that's reflectant of where things were then. They didn't think it was a good idea to give people pills as much then, as much as wow they love doing that shit since the 90s, but I swear people not the sort to flag pills now are the ones flagging pills now. 

What if I'm somehow worse that way? When I tried pills on my own to 'feel the effects' I got fucking weird. My period doing Addy (Meth essentially) passed me through exams with A+ ratings, but did I even take that test? 

I'd like to think the pandemic year opened up discussion for mental health and therapy. it would make sense that a lot more people are looking into it especially now that it's been destigmatized in the last few years. 

Did it open the discussion, or have more people accept weakness? 

I fell apart after I helped too many in 2024 through 2025. I was in no shape to help people and enough words got through to me, but they needed help more than I needed to. 

By the end of it, I was broken and they were okay. 

Turncoat said: 

Lena said: 

Turncoat said: 

Underline's pretty much where I'm at now, that and room for a scholarship if I'm in treatment. They tried throwing meds at me before and I'd shut that down. 

I more find it odd how it feels like almost everyone I know is on some medication, now rather than before. 

 Are those people functioning?

...see that's what scares me. 

They are. 

Years ago, they were not, and their med balance is too recent for me to gauge. 

I find it more concerning how easy it is to get meds since Trump. Isn't that weird? Shouldn't we be worried that the general market of pharma wants us on pills? 

...they wanted me on these pills when I was like 23, so that's reflectant of where things were then. They didn't think it was a good idea to give people pills as much then, as much as wow they love doing that shit since the 90s, but I swear people not the sort to flag pills now are the ones flagging pills now. 

What if I'm somehow worse that way? When I tried pills on my own to 'feel the effects' I got fucking weird. My period doing Addy (Meth essentially) passed me through exams with A+ ratings, but did I even take that test? 

I'd like to think the pandemic year opened up discussion for mental health and therapy. it would make sense that a lot more people are looking into it especially now that it's been destigmatized in the last few years. 

Did it open the discussion, or have more people accept weakness? 

I fell apart after I helped too many in 2024 through 2025. I was in no shape to help people and enough words got through to me, but they needed help more than I needed to. 

By the end of it, I was broken and they were okay. 

 Wait why were you using adderall lol, are you actually diagnosed adhd? Im on vyvanse. And of course you took the test. I'll probably be on stims for the rest of my life, so that is my baseline functioning.

Yeah dont help too many people. Fix yourself first. And even if say, Med, needs more help than you do, she's not gonna listen to you.

Turncoat said: 

Lena said: 

Turncoat said: 

Underline's pretty much where I'm at now, that and room for a scholarship if I'm in treatment. They tried throwing meds at me before and I'd shut that down. 

I more find it odd how it feels like almost everyone I know is on some medication, now rather than before. 

 Are those people functioning?

...see that's what scares me. 

They are. 

Years ago, they were not, and their med balance is too recent for me to gauge. 

I find it more concerning how easy it is to get meds since Trump. Isn't that weird? Shouldn't we be worried that the general market of pharma wants us on pills? 

...they wanted me on these pills when I was like 23, so that's reflectant of where things were then. They didn't think it was a good idea to give people pills as much then, as much as wow they love doing that shit since the 90s, but I swear people not the sort to flag pills now are the ones flagging pills now. 

What if I'm somehow worse that way? When I tried pills on my own to 'feel the effects' I got fucking weird. My period doing Addy (Meth essentially) passed me through exams with A+ ratings, but did I even take that test? 

I mean sure, because these industries seek to maintain customers that will pay in to feel "okay" but naming the pharmaceutical companies as pushing an agenda kinda ignores all other environmental elements that have also contributed to mental illness.  Loss of third spaces, social isolation, loss of community, childhood abuse, harmful environments, unhealthy relationships, and simply being born with a disorder or biological predisposition have historical been a big part of why people tend to have issues.

Big pharma wants me hooked on them, sure. Profits over people is the American/capitalist way but they weren't the underlying cause for depression, bipolar and so on. Take pill or don't take pill, you still get a choice regardless. 

Has what you've been doing so far worked? And not to sound mean, but is it possible you might be romanticizing your mental illness as being the most authentic version of yourself as to not take medication? Do you take your suffering as part as your identity?

I'd like to think the pandemic year opened up discussion for mental health and therapy. it would make sense that a lot more people are looking into it especially now that it's been destigmatized in the last few years. 

Did it open the discussion, or have more people accept weakness? 

I fell apart after I helped too many in 2024 through 2025. I was in no shape to help people and enough words got through to me, but they needed help more than I needed to. 

By the end of it, I was broken and they were okay. 

 Could you clarify what you mean by accepting weakness?  Do you mean normalizing mental illness, seeking treatment or avoiding personal responsibility because of a diagnosis? Burnout from taking on a caregiver role yikes

Lena said: 

Turncoat said: 

Lena said: 

 Are those people functioning?

...see that's what scares me. 

They are. 

Years ago, they were not, and their med balance is too recent for me to gauge. 

I find it more concerning how easy it is to get meds since Trump. Isn't that weird? Shouldn't we be worried that the general market of pharma wants us on pills? 

...they wanted me on these pills when I was like 23, so that's reflectant of where things were then. They didn't think it was a good idea to give people pills as much then, as much as wow they love doing that shit since the 90s, but I swear people not the sort to flag pills now are the ones flagging pills now. 

What if I'm somehow worse that way? When I tried pills on my own to 'feel the effects' I got fucking weird. My period doing Addy (Meth essentially) passed me through exams with A+ ratings, but did I even take that test? 

I mean sure, because these industries seek to maintain customers that will pay in to feel "okay" but naming the pharmaceutical companies as pushing an agenda kinda ignores all other environmental elements that have also contributed to mental illness. 

See, 'environmental factors'. That's part of my concern, except over that of culture. 

I understand when it's a genetic disorder, but are we supposed to not be suspicious when it's suddenly easier to get medication during an economic downturn? 

The medicine isn't suddenly better, I've known tons of people where meds fucked their lives, how am I supposed to accept medication for myself? 

Loss of third spaces, social isolation, loss of community, childhood abuse, harmful environments, unhealthy relationships, and simply being born with a disorder or biological predisposition have historical been a big part of why people tend to have issues.

...so give them drugs? 



At this point why not just legalize pharma across the board? 

Ugh, I'm glad it's working for you right now, you're not the only one giving me positive reports within a surprisingly recent timeframe, but the 'big picture' or whatever is a lot messier for me to figure when the drugs didn't suddenly become better. 

What it's telling me, is that either people are more open to accepting treatment, or that organizations are more open to accepting those who were already trying.

I'm very unsure how to feel about it as someone who's seen people suffer through pharma in the past. 

Big pharma wants me hooked on them, sure. Profits over people is the American/capitalist way but they weren't the underlying cause for depression, bipolar and so on. Take pill or don't take pill, you still get a choice regardless. 

So 70s into the 80s, it was a mess. 

Led to films like Holy Mountain. 

Has what you've been doing so far worked?

No, of course not, but will how I'll be five years from now in withdrawal from different failed med attempts be better than the suffering I'm experiencing now? 

I'm Schizo, look into their meds. 

And not to sound mean, but is it possible you might be romanticizing your mental illness as being the most authentic version of yourself as to not take medication? Do you take your suffering as part as your identity?

I'm scared of the drugs. You were the one getting on my case about how drugs are scary, now you're the one selling drugs. I feel like this is some sort of zombie shit where the ones who kept telling me 'drugs are bad' are now the ones telling me to take drugs, it's not just you it's a lot of people in my life in the past few years over how they are suddenly themselves on medication. 

I grew up knowing tons of people hooked on different shit both pharma and street level, people who were committed to different systems and then reintegrated to public school, ones who were a part of the guinea pig generation of pills for one reason or another while it was constantly suggested that I should join that bullshit. But there was a gap where people were less inclined to take them, either because they recovered from the addiction or because they saw what it did to people, but now people are suddenly trying to tell me it's okay like it's the 70s again. 

I've met different schizos on meds and it was all experimental, and still is. A lot of the drugs they suggest essentially do brain damage, but if I can at least go in with my research I might be able to suggest it be a mood balancer instead. 

There's nothing to romanticize, it just sucks. I can barely leave my house comfortably, how is this romantic? 

I'd like to think the pandemic year opened up discussion for mental health and therapy. it would make sense that a lot more people are looking into it especially now that it's been destigmatized in the last few years. 

Did it open the discussion, or have more people accept weakness? 

I fell apart after I helped too many in 2024 through 2025. I was in no shape to help people and enough words got through to me, but they needed help more than I needed to. 

By the end of it, I was broken and they were okay. 

 Could you clarify what you mean by accepting weakness? 

There is a line, in the field, between 'oh they can handle it' and 'oh shit it's a chemical imbalance'. Often times, it's a thin line, a very, very thin line. How much of it is over destigmatization, versus how much of it is about industry moving product during a time of quick maneuvering? The standards changing doesn't mean people are more accepting, it means they are more allowing. 

 I'm I guess far enough past that line that they all keep saying 'ffs take meds' but I've seen others where it's more dubious. 

Do you mean normalizing mental illness, seeking treatment or avoiding personal responsibility because of a diagnosis? Burnout from taking on a caregiver role yikes

I know in a personal sense that it was recommended to me during a waning period; When I was in college and they gave me 'the look' it was during a time it was more common for people to go 'well I grew up with someone on meds and it went shitty for them'. 

Now, instead, it's like people phased that memory out and are more like 'but it works'. 

What was the point in between those? Did people become more accepting of the side effects? 

That's a lot of word that are coming off to me as "ive been surrounded by the mentally ill and seen it go bad, and the burn out is real" 

And like, I totally get that. Very valid! Very 'this is my personal experience' and I can't argue against that! 

So, I don't particularly remember getting on your case about treatment, I do remember being like damn bro, maybe don't do acid or whatever recreational drugs you guys were doing on your trips specifically because you are schizo. 

I do remember being extremely against treatment and medication but that was because I thought I would be labeled as crazy, because that's how I was raised.

Depression? Not real, that's just someone being lazy. You just gotta work harder! BPD? More like beautiful person disease, something I suffer with greatly every day. It is a burden I graciously carry. 

Anyways, therapy and treatment and medication were heavily stigmatized in my family. I didn't want them to see me seeking help or treatment because I'd been called crazy for year and this would somehow confirm it for them. 

My opinion since then has changed. I got better informed and care less about whether or not taking pills would give my family ammunition against me. Because I was the one suffering. I got better informed and have changed my opinion since then.

I'm definitely not being paid by big pharma. Wink, Wink, ask your doctor if treatment is right for you. Side effects may include;

Possibly alleviating some symptoms 

Having a tool at your disposal that helps, not cures. 

Yes everyone is on pills these days, it's not really all that important. It's not what pills the persons taking that matters but how they in turn process the pills and translate them into life as through the mental healths structurrs it is not up to the psychiatrist or whatever to fix anybody, just prescribe the pills at random really, disorders at random. Doesn't really matter, the populace cannot tell the difference and will liekly take on whatever label you want or if theyre like this diagnosis is wrong, the pills arent good the therapy doesnt work, whatever. There are numenerous issues one can run into as a psychollogist. One of the best solutions to an uncooperative patient who calls into question you're fraudulent nature, as Joseph Goebbels liked to say: "A lie told once remains a lie but a lie told a thousand times becomes the truth" But no the system is much more practical than that. Lobotomizing systems of experiments since the dawn of modern behavioral medicine abstracted into chains of predictable codings, descipherable shells of aysymetrical power-nulled abominations of parasitic tangled fibres of the underbelly of societies infrastructure(nameless horrors), computerized into normalacy to create the perfect functioning society.

Lena said: 

That's a lot of word that are coming off to me as "ive been surrounded by the mentally ill and seen it go bad, and the burn out is real" 

And like, I totally get that. Very valid! Very 'this is my personal experience' and I can't argue against that! 

I mean, you can argue vs that when I show very clear bias from it. 

It's really hard for me to not carry that bias after seeing it wreck people, and hard to not have that bias go further when others (not everyone, 'others') are parroting the same notion after having gone through it themselves. 

So, I don't particularly remember getting on your case about treatment

Not treatment in particular, 'drugs'. 

It's difficult for me to not lump them altogether in the sense of the two being similar enough, and even harder to not see pills as the scarier one when they're fundamentally stronger and depending on which ones can be a lot more addictive. 

, I do remember being like damn bro, maybe don't do acid or whatever recreational drugs you guys were doing on your trips specifically because you are schizo. 

It didn't really make it worse, and if anything smoking raised my grades over finding a way to sleep and lower overall anxiety. 

Caffeine though... 👀

I do remember being extremely against treatment and medication but that was because I thought I would be labeled as crazy, because that's how I was raised.

I'm less concerned with the appearance of it for me when the label has been present for this long and I've known enough people who've taken them, I'm more concerned about side effects. 

In the most basic fashion tolerance when built means my body won't respond the same to it anymore, and attempting to quit it whether cold turkey or weening off of them can show elevated symptoms, both chemically from something like blocked or deadened receptors and behaviorally over being less mentally adjusted to what used to feel like 'every day' before the pills. 

In a more secondary fashion I'm worried about side effects. I've seen brain damage from it, metabolic harm where they're now heavier for life, water retention to the degree of bloating, digestion problems, sudden onset dizziness, 'fiending' when it's from speed, dehydration-based constipation, irregular mood swings if not emotional numbing, a sudden increase of headaches, chronic fatigue, liver problems... 

Pills are a scarier beast that I've for the most part avoided when compared to 'just pot'. I'm surrounded by horror stories of it and spent time before 'thankful' that that wasn't me, but that's a pretty hollow pat on my own back when I'm not really functioning like this either. 

It feels like having two shitty options to choose from at a crossroads, but continuing the path I'm on now isn't really fixing anything. 

Depression? Not real, that's just someone being lazy. You just gotta work harder! 

For me that's asking for burnout or flip out or something like that. 'Working Harder' made me look like a great employee or student or whatever on the outside but inside it got pretty woah. 

TLDR; I barely leave the house now. 🤣

BPD? More like beautiful person disease, something I suffer with greatly every day. It is a burden I graciously carry. 

Anyways, therapy and treatment and medication were heavily stigmatized in my family. I didn't want them to see me seeking help or treatment because I'd been called crazy for year and this would somehow confirm it for them. 

My opinion since then has changed. I got better informed and care less about whether or not taking pills would give my family ammunition against me. Because I was the one suffering. I got better informed and have changed my opinion since then. 

My family's been pretty anti-pharma, they saw a lot of the same stuff I did but from an even earlier point, and from that had me steer clear of it. 

...but at this point even the fam is like 'whatever you're doing now isn't really working', and are themselves re-evaluating their stance somewhat. 

I'm seeing it working out well for some people, but it feels like a pretty low ratio. The ones reporting better tend to be given much lower doses, too, like a low dose antidepressant to cure their TMJ symptoms from anxiety. 

I'm definitely not being paid by big pharma. Wink, Wink, ask your doctor if treatment is right for you. Side effects may include;

Possibly alleviating some symptoms 

Having a tool at your disposal that helps, not cures. 

I'm glad it's working for you, but the tradeoff scares the shit out of me. I feel like once I cross that door into pills I won't be able to backtrack to the point I'm at now. 

The question is moreover if 'the point I'm at now' is really worth holding ground like this. It sucks now, but this could be the point I regret leaving once 'it gets worse', if it does. 

https://www.vox.com/explain-it-to-me/490067/microcheating-infidelity-relationships-internet-instagram-explained

Vox Article May 31, 2026, is it "Microcheating or Just Being Online”