Solitary confinement is a spa day for the soul,
a minimalist retreat with concrete walls
and zero social obligations.
No awkward small talk.
No emails.
No one asking how you’re doing
and then regretting it.
Just you,
your thoughts,
and that charming fluorescent light
that never blinks
because consistency is selfcare.
The décor is stunning...
Industrial white everywhere.
An open-concept floor plan
with a toilet that believes in transparency.
Meals arrive through a slot
like room service
for the discerning guest
who prefers their cuisine
mysteriously beige.
Time becomes abstract.
Clocks are for the weak.
Here, minutes stretch luxuriously
into centuries.
You’ll never feel rushed again.
And the silence...
oh, the silence.
So complete
you can finally hear
every single regret
in surround sound.
Who needs mindfulness apps
when the walls lean in
and whisper your autobiography
back to you?
Yes, solitary confinement
where personal growth
means counting bricks
and naming them.
Five stars.
Would introspect again.
