I've had that "don't fucking look at me" feeling before too. Just know they have no clue what has happened to you. They only see what is in front of them, that is their definition of who you were, and it changes every time they see you subsequently. When people see someone who is ill, they think about their own kids, their husband/wife, they relate that experience with things that exclusively concern them. Regardless of how you are interpreted people will be selfish.
Actually its deeper than that. Maybe you do everything to seem normal and every time someone looks at you differently, its like you can sense them see through your mask? Now suddenly this stranger who I have never met before knows something is wrong with me and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I can't rewind 10 seconds to smile at them for a fraction of a second like a normal person would. Kinda like that?
I think it's because you have 0 awareness to how much of a shitty jerk you are while thinking you are great/the opposite.
You constantly try to grandstand over shit you're guilty of doing or fantasying of. Moralizing and drawing lines in the sand instead of accepting reality, while wanting people's realities to be more dark and desperate by supporting people like Trump.
You are a narcissist twat beyond belief and one of the worst of them.
Feels like a perma trip but of the most disgusting and horrible things that can fucking happen to someone topped with humiliation and shame to the point where you can't even go to the store without wanting to break down at the fact that other people can visually see you and you hate yourself
Because at no point during your existence did you set a clear goal, but instead chose to ride the waves of emotion that came from life happening to you
Fine, let me break this down mathematically since apparently, logic and confidence have left the chat.
Here is the formula for your insecurity.
Let I = insecurity level, P = perceived judgment from others (which, spoiler, is delusional), E = effort to overcome insecurity, and R = the reality that nobody cares about you at that store, outside of it and at this very forum.
____________
I = √ p²
E² + R
Now, since P = 0 because people are too busy thinking about their own lives, and R = 1 because nobody gives a fuck except you, the entire equation simplifies to.
__________
I = √ 0²
E² + 1 = 1
Congratulations, you're insecurity is a construct of your own overthinking, and mathematically, it’s meaningless. So what are you even doing? Wasting time solving an equation that doesnt exist while people are out there thriving in the snack aisle? Unbelievable.
Now, either rewrite this nonsense or just stay home and continue being ruled by a formula thats as fake as your fears.
