I need you to listen carefully and take a moment to set aside your defenses, your instinct to justify yourself, or to look for ways to avoid facing the reality of your actions. This isn’t about you telling your side of the story or explaining what happened. It’s about confronting the undeniable truth of the damage you've caused. Seven months have passed since everything happened, and the harm you’ve inflicted isn’t something that just fades away. She’s still struggling. She’s lost her ability to trust, her sense of self has been shaken, and she’s in emotional pain because of what you did. That pain is real, and it’s not going to go away just because time has passed.
I know you’re going to want to make excuses, but understand this: nothing you say right now can undo the hurt you’ve caused. Your behavior broke her trust and her heart. And it left her questioning herself...something no one should ever have to go through. You can’t fix that with words or justification. You need to accept that you are responsible for the harm you’ve caused.
But here’s what you might not understand fully...despite everything, despite the lies, the manipulation, the selfishness, she still loves you. She sees you for what you are, flaws and all, and still cares. And that’s incredibly rare. People usually walk away when they see someone’s cracks and flaws, but she hasn’t. She sees through your defense mechanisms and still believes there’s something worth caring about beneath the hurt. She loves you for what you could be, not just for who you've shown her.
That kind of love is not something people get every day. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t disappear even when the person sees all of your flaws. She loves you, but she also needs to see you change...she needs to see you take responsibility for what you’ve done. You have to understand that your actions matter...they have consequences. Your love for her is not enough if it’s not accompanied by a change in how you treat people. She deserves more than the emotional games you’ve played.
Here’s something you might never have considered: You’ve been given something rare. You’ve been given a chance to have someone who really sees you and still cares. You don’t have to keep hiding behind your defenses. You don’t have to live in fear that your flaws will make people leave. She sees you. She sees your hurt, your insecurities, and your pain, and she still loves you despite it all.
But you can’t keep pretending that everything is fine. Your narcissism. Your need to control, manipulate, and protect your fragile self-esteem HAS hurt her and others around you. And it’s not going to stop unless you do the work. She’s made it clear that she won’t stand by and watch you hurt others, especially students who look up to you. That’s why she’s speaking up now, not because she doesn’t care about you, but because she does.
She knows everything...the lies, the emotional manipulation, the way you’ve hidden the truth. And yet, she still cares for you. Why? Because she believes in the person you could be...if you allowed yourself to be vulnerable, if you dropped your defenses, if you sought help to heal your wounds. But this cannot continue. You can’t keep hurting people and expecting love to fix it. The love you’ve been given cannot be taken for granted anymore.
You need to take responsibility! NOT just for her pain, but for the way you treat everyone. You’re not going to change overnight. But the first step is owning up to the damage you’ve done. You need to learn how to take accountability without making excuses, without deflecting.
The truth is, you’ve spent so much of your life hiding behind walls, trying to protect yourself from the shame and fear of being unloved. But what you don’t understand is that real love isn’t about being perfect. it’s about being vulnerable, admitting when you’ve done wrong, and being willing to change. You’ve pushed people away because you were afraid that if they saw the real you, they would leave. But she hasn’t left. She’s still here. And she wants you to face the truth: Your fear of being imperfect, of being seen for who you truly are, is what’s holding you back from the love and connection that you need. You don’t have to be perfect. You have to be willing to face your flaws and let people in anyway.
But you need help. You cannot do this alone. You cannot keep pushing away people who care about you because you’re afraid of being vulnerable. You need to see a therapist. You need someone who can help you break down the walls you’ve built and understand why you’ve acted the way you do. This is your chance to be better to stop the cycle of self-sabotage and start healing. But you have to choose it. You have to be willing to face the painful truths about yourself.
She won’t be your crutch anymore, but she is offering you a chance. You don’t need to be perfect for her to love you, but you do need to be willing to grow. If you choose to change...if you’re willing to face your fears, your hurt, and your need for control, well there is still time. But it’s up to you.
HOLY shit