"Going to the gym this morning was a lot.
It was good for me.
But it triggered a loooot.
I shifted again.
But I am understanding more and more now.
Oh how the road to self discovery does not even resemble a path at times.
I was triggered because:
Going to the gym we use to go to. (my ex and I)
I bought the program we use to use (it works and I don't have the mental resources to scout for another atm)
Heart rate elevated.
Cortisol and adrenaline elevated.
This activated my hyper vigilance and thus triggered state.
And with the surge of those in addition to other occurring reactions and disbursements of hormones/bodily chemical reactions I deduced that my vigilance is heightened to the degree of picking up the minute shifts in my bodily function and chemistry.
That's when I notice I'm thinking differently. Reacting to different stimuli.
Different memory sets seem easier to access.
It makes sense. Different chemicals are surging around all in there than usual. Some of those memories perhaps were written at similar circumstances/bodily chemistry.
Therapy today to inquire about some of this, but ChatGPT indicates that it could be correct. Need to study and verify further.
This further verifies that what I put into and do with my body is directly associated to my mental health and thought pattern state. I knew/have known this, but it's fascinating how the same information relayed differently hits my ability to understand the topic to create a more solid framework.
So if I want to obtain a specific goal, I must adhere to the requirements of that state.
So my question to myself is - What do you want most? How do we get there?"
This was written by an anonymous person on discord, in some server somewhere in a vent channel. And, it starts off kind of on a more down note which is, real, but then their after thoughts about all of it I thought was kind of interesting, I liked it.
I want to bring beauty and life, and love into this world. That is what is in alignment with a facet of my nature, my connection to the whole, to the divine, and back around to myself. A facet of ones function and purpose. I'm sure this is common part of a woman's nature.
Through whatever medium. I find this aspect of life most fulfilling for me personally, in balance in its own right to, everything as it should be, everything is subject to flux, change. And this is I would label it as a more feminine energetic field to resonate from over all, so- it's not to say that other attributes and capabilities are to be entirely neglected, or are entirely useless. That this is "all you are meant for." just wanted to clarify, I dunno.
There are many attributes to your own energy, which I think should be allowed to be explored, through whatever means, and find its own balance in time. Trusting our nature, which is, of divine origin. Divinely we are made in heaven, by God...
The fruits of the spirit are the attributes in which I seek and hunger for. I am imperfect, but God rectifies my spirit, in preparation to receive and perpetuate his kingdom and glory. Forever and ever, amen.
last edit on
11/27/2024 1:07:26 AM
@0:29
@1:08 "this weapon ok- rediculous weapon bag. this can kill you. if you go to a restaurant and sit down." *sets back down*
@1:59 "milky fuckin drink" "i got this coffee maker i wanna talk about it because it sucks"
@2:40 "i hate glitter, i hate shimmer, i hate colors. fuckin rainbow ass makeup."
@3:04 "it tastes like fuckin milk from a mothers fuckin tit. it's called rude and careless, its called rude and careless. you take no pride in anything you do."
@3:28 "are you fuckin serious- what in the actual fuck. help me, please help me find something please god- little house on the prairie. hair dresser. i'm like overwhelmed with how disgusting everything is."
Blanc said:"i'm like overwhelmed with how disgusting everything is."And now we see where her beautification kink's from.
Jeez, just imagine how detoxing from beauty must feel.
Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
Nail Combo Cloud 9 by Holo Taco (Underglow Collection Shade) with Rose Gold Topper by Cristine from @simplynotlogical
Live stream https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TphfK9emhow
@23:31
Cloud 9 by Holo Taco