Sociopath Community

I made this post because, for the first time in over 6 years I dreamt of being back home, saying hi to some of my neighbors, and having some random banter with some shop owners. I had sort of a home sick feeling when I woke up. I felt like it was a bad omen, so I thought about writing to my sister to ask how things are back home, but decided against it, because superstition, and just made this post instead. I just received a call from my family a few hours ago that my grandpa had a medical emergency and died.

I'm sorry for your loss...  Made more ominous, perhaps eerier, with what looks like a premonitive feeling you had.  Were you close with your grandparents?  Any other things leading up to these feelings before you posted?

Thanks.

No, nothing.

I don't know if I can say I was close. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as a kid, but back then I didn't really pay much attention to him.

When I met him as an adult I realized that I probably got most of my traits from him. My last conversation with him was about questions he had about Physics. I was taken aback by how unashamed he was to discuss whatever interested him. The occasion was also weird because I've never been asked about my work by my family with what appeared to be genuine interest. I also got to know his life more, and a lot of it resonated. The conversation was odd because much of what I thought were my independent choices in life were choices he had apparently made as well. I remember thinking if I made those choices subconsciously through some childhood influence of his from back when I was a kid, without realising it.

My meeting with him left me with a lasting impression and I kept thinking about it for weeks on end. I guess I felt a weird connection with him, like when you find out theres someone in the family who is like you, but like a better version.

At any rate, he's gone now. He had a good life, full of adventure, was loved by many, and I'm sure he was laughing until the end. I wish I had as rich a life to take to my grave.

Jada said: 

I made this post because, for the first time in over 6 years I dreamt of being back home, saying hi to some of my neighbors, and having some random banter with some shop owners.

I have moments like this over my time in California, when the weather wherever I am is similar enough, and in New York when the trees feel suffocating. 

I've already tried going back a few times to see how much of the nostalgia holds up. The food does, the weather does, my old haunts do, but not the people. Revisiting the past tends to be a lonely thing. 

I had sort of a home sick feeling when I woke up. I felt like it was a bad omen, so I thought about writing to my sister to ask how things are back home, but decided against it, because superstition, and just made this post instead. I just received a call from my family a few hours ago that my grandpa had a medical emergency and died.

Much like Tarot, regardless of if it's "magic" or not it still serves as a prompt to get the mind going or remind yourself of things. 

Even if it's not an omen, how long has it been since last contact? If this thought wasn't important to you over something more foundational this prompt wouldn't have inspired the idea. 

It's interesting that you say the people don't bring nostalgia to you. People remember me, I'm quite certain, so I imagine my returning to the past would have people think a ghost showed up. There are people I knew for 15 years and I had an impact on many of their lives, including how they decided to shape their future. They're still where I left them in a small town there. Maybe they've changed. I'll find out, since I'll be leaving for Finland to attend my grandpa's funeral in 2 weeks. I'm thinking I'll knock on their doors instead of letting them know beforehand I'm coming for a visit.

Tarot is the kind of thing I had in mind the second I got the phone call. When I saw my dad's number my first instinct was the dream I had and my urge to message my family that morning, and my second thought was "please don't let it be my sister." And then when my dad explained my grandpa passed away, I was relieved. I cared about my grandpa. He had a good long life lasting nearly 100 years, and there's a time for everyone. After I finished the call, I was sort of staring into emptiness, trying to decide if I just assigned significance to a coincidence where there shouldn't be, or if in my dream I was somehow feeling my grandpa's spirit leaving. That's how it felt like, like a warm spirit.

This has been haunting me now. I keep thinking, I have the logs of when everything happened, and the time stamp on the forum post. I was about to message "is everything alright in there?" to my sister. The likelihood of me thinking something has happened, which I never do, and then receiving a call about something happening, seems astronomically small. The last call I have from my dad was years ago. This all has me thinking if I should explore the spiritual realm more. Maybe someone is really out there looking out for us.