if you are a florida native, you likely have these skills
-immune to mosquitos, sand fleas, ticks and all the diseases they carry
-can breath underwater and drive cars on water
-give birth in water
-your entire house is water proof and lightning proof
-you can talk to the wild life and own at least 2 pythons whether you like it or not
-a baby alligator doesn't scare you and you just keep swimming with it next to you
-you can swim against the current of the ocean
-your powers are supercharged by the beach
-you have sonar and communicate with bats and owls, living in harmony with them, sometimes they perch on your arm
-you also have a bee hive in your desk drawer which you check on regularly
-you wear lizards to school as earrings, yes, live actual lizards
-your a descendant of steve irwin somehow, all of you yes
-have a real knack for climbing trees
-you're more afraid of a high heat index or 'heat dome' than a tornado, hurricane or thunderstorm
-you are resistant to saharan dust and red tide, can eat it for breakfast sometimes for fun
-your skin is bullet proof and you can lay your hand flat on a stove iron pan and it doesn't bother you because your entire body is so heat resistant and used to being burned at extreme temperatures
-you have naturally lubricant skin like a snake because in order to survive the extreme heat you must remain extremely moist, sometimes people think ur skin looks 'waxy' or 'barbie doll like' or plastic and this is actually just one of its morphisms, it also has a shedding period
-all of the women can drive a car backwards while shooting a gun out of the window perpendicular to them as a requirement of living in certain areas (coughs miami)
-your entire house is a solar panel and people on insane amounts of drugs or just passed out dead on the side of the street do not bother you
-you're used to hearing sirens on the beach aand knowing its the sound of children dying (drowning/eaten by sharks). you carry on about your day drinking lemonade and eating mexican food as if nothing happened.
-your foot has formed into a shape to suit fitting a sandal (called florida toes) from wearing sandals your entire life
-you were trained how to run from alligators as a young child and then played put put golf with them for fun as a school field trip
-you know how to cave dive and crawl in caves upside down like the exorcist and this is very normal hobby, we all get together on the weekends just to crawl around on rocks for fun in the scorching heat
-you have attended at least one full moon seyonce/dance or visited casa daga and regretted it (the salem of florida, very spooky do not go)
-there are other rural parts of florida you've never heard of and never wish to go to and you are content with never knowing what the fuck is in there
-theres a lot of beef jerky and palm trees which are all completely useless but look cool. they make you instantly cooler if you have them on your property of your home
