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I am sick of being misunderstood


Posts: 2773

I have spent countless hours sharing, defending, and often battling for a semblance of understanding. To many, I might seem like an enigma wrapped in aggression and controversy. However, my journey and experiences are far more complex than what meets the eye.
My personality is a mosaic, pieced together from my childhood experiences, struggles with autism, and the harsh realities of the world I navigate daily. Growing up, I endured physical and emotional abuse, which left deep scars on my psyche. This abuse taught me to be resilient, to build walls around my vulnerability, and to defend myself fiercely when I feel threatened.

Living with autism adds another layer to this complexity. Communication isn't always straightforward for me. I express myself in ways that can be misinterpreted by those who don't understand the nuances of myself. What might seem like bluntness or aggression to others is often my way of coping with overwhelming emotions and situations. The world can be a confusing and harsh place for someone like me, and my reactions are my way of making sense of it all.

my defensive behavior is often seen as combative. I can't deny that I come off as aggressive sometimes, but this is usually a response to the hostility I face regularly. When you're constantly attacked or misunderstood, it becomes second nature to defend yourself with all you have. My posts, often filled with sharp words and intense emotions, are my armor against a world that hasn't been kind to me.

It's frustrating when my intentions are misconstrued. For instance, my strong stance against pedophiles and my provocative language around this issue aren't just for shock value. They stem from a deep-seated anger and a desire for justice that the abuse I endured fuels. However, many members of SC see this as another sign of instability or malevolence, failing to grasp the pain and motivation behind my words.
SC is not a gentle place. It's a forum known for its contentious and often aggressive environment. In such a setting, it's easy for nuanced communication to be lost in the noise. Members are quick to judge, to label, and to react without fully understanding the context or the person behind the post. Bias and prejudice play a significant role here. My outspoken nature and past conflicts have painted a target on my back, leading others to see my actions through a lens of negativity. When I share my frustrations, my struggles, and my opinions, they are often met with hostility or dismissal. The bedbug incident on the boat, for instance, became a topic of mockery rather than a moment for empathy. The complexities of my situation were overshadowed by the desire for drama and sensationalism.

 

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Posts: 2773
0 votes RE: I am sick of being misunderstood

anyway kill all pedophiles

hope for more doxing of em it is getting BORING lets pick up the pace WOO

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last edit on 7/28/2024 1:39:27 PM
Posts: 2278
0 votes RE: I am sick of being misunderstood

It certainly isn't a gentle place. Coming to somewhere like SC hoping to be understood by everybody is sort of like walking into a dog pound hoping that they all won't bite you. Some might be good dogs that just got lost outside, but others are genuinely aggressive dogs that can't help but bite you. 

If you're being truly genuine, which as your husband I know you usually are, then here's all you have to do- simply express yourself clearly as you can and if people end up misunderstanding due to their own lense being clouded by their perception and biases, then don't sweat it at all. 

That being said, the thing about often feeling defensive because of how harsh the world can be is that this defensiveness too can also be something that clouds your own perception, because when someone does make you feel attacked anger and other strong emotions set in. We all got our emotions and beliefs that might cloud perception of the plain truth about ourselves and others. 

But let me point this out Jasmine- being defensive is only necessary when you are truly threatened. If you can learn to detach a little bit from the opinions of others be it positive or negative then their words in the end won't be that threatening anymore, and therefore it won't matter if you're misunderstood and you won't be feeling so defensive anymore either.

I say you should also detach a bit from positive validation as well as negative comments from people for this reason- what goes up must come down. A lot of misery stems from the fact what we desire things that make us feel good temporarily then for one reason or another that thing is withdrawn from us and then we experience suffering. By detaching not just from negative but positive feedback from others, you can bypass some of your suffering. 

This isn't to say to outright dismiss people or not consider anything they say about you, but keep in mind everybody has their faulty biases and their opinion of you often isn't going to be completely based on reality. You know yourself better than anybody does, including me, so when you know people are wrong and nothing you say convinces them, pretty much it doesn't even matter at that point. 

If you can adopt this mindset you might find your defensiveness, feelings of being misunderstood, and overall suffering might be reduced. Also since you're not attaching to negative feedback from others, you'd be less likely to erupt in anger and more likely to give more valid and understandable and coherent replies if you do choose to engage those people, and ultimately the relationships in your life would see improvement.

It took me a really long time to come to these conclusions myself and I think it would really help you if you listened. I mean, you saw the way I used to be on here. That's not to say I'm not up for doing a little trolling from time to time, of course ;p

My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
Posts: 9443
0 votes RE: I am sick of being misunderstood

Thought experiment- 

 

The opposing action would be to catch or aim on target- correct, 

 

understood- to know of brain, over taking of self 

 

these are all actions so 

 

you must, take over knowing yourself, an overtaking of knowing oneself, intrsically and infallibly with total and utter truth- to the point of most certain clarity and accuracy- the accuracy of a bullet on target, or in total correctness being perceived and known indefinitely unwaveringly truth of oneself 

 

So if u you misunderstood, understand yourself first as an action, seek it out 

 

and then answers may unfold from these actions, insights, steps, unfolding of the mind, its complexities, mazes of thought. 

 

Self exploration, self expression, therapuetic catharsis is due… 

 

rest, enter flow states, intuitively lean toward where you feel guided, listen to your heart until it is finally at peace and still within your soul 

 

Happy buddha sits barefoot on the clay earth, in the beating sun, and smiles, in his rags. Buddha seek to understand, and was granted understanding ten fold, by a world that barely knew him 

 

because he welcomed it with open arms, fearlessness. When you know who you are, what do you have to fear in being misunderstood. 

Posts: 2773
0 votes RE: I am sick of being misunderstood
Blanc said: 

Thought experiment- 

 

The opposing action would be to catch or aim on target- correct, 

 

understood- to know of brain, over taking of self 

 

these are all actions so 

 

you must, take over knowing yourself, an overtaking of knowing oneself, intrsically and infallibly with total and utter truth- to the point of most certain clarity and accuracy- the accuracy of a bullet on target, or in total correctness being perceived and known indefinitely unwaveringly truth of oneself 

 

So if u you misunderstood, understand yourself first as an action, seek it out 

 

and then answers may unfold from these actions, insights, steps, unfolding of the mind, its complexities, mazes of thought. 

 

Self exploration, self expression, therapuetic catharsis is due… 

 

rest, enter flow states, intuitively lean toward where you feel guided, listen to your heart until it is finally at peace and still within your soul 

 

Happy buddha sits barefoot on the clay earth, in the beating sun, and smiles, in his rags. Buddha seek to understand, and was granted understanding ten fold, by a world that barely knew him 

 

because he welcomed it with open arms, fearlessness. When you know who you are, what do you have to fear in being misunderstood. 

 I am to literal of a thinker to understand any of this but I do appreciate it and thank you for your kind words of encouragement :)

🌺🐀 🌺
Posts: 2773
0 votes RE: I am sick of being misunderstood

It certainly isn't a gentle place. Coming to somewhere like SC hoping to be understood by everybody is sort of like walking into a dog pound hoping that they all won't bite you. Some might be good dogs that just got lost outside, but others are genuinely aggressive dogs that can't help but bite you. 

This is why I am afraid of dogs. Dogs are scary, man. 

If you're being truly genuine, which as your husband I know you usually are, then here's all you have to do- simply express yourself clearly as you can and if people end up misunderstanding due to their own lense being clouded by their perception and biases, then don't sweat it at all. 

i love you

That being said, the thing about often feeling defensive because of how harsh the world can be is that this defensiveness too can also be something that clouds your own perception, because when someone does make you feel attacked anger and other strong emotions set in. We all got our emotions and beliefs that might cloud perception of the plain truth about ourselves and others. 

But let me point this out Jasmine- being defensive is only necessary when you are truly threatened. If you can learn to detach a little bit from the opinions of others be it positive or negative then their words in the end won't be that threatening anymore, and therefore it won't matter if you're misunderstood and you won't be feeling so defensive anymore either.

I have PTSD I feel threatened 24/7 and I have the goal to turn it off but idk how

I say you should also detach a bit from positive validation as well as negative comments from people for this reason- what goes up must come down. A lot of misery stems from the fact what we desire things that make us feel good temporarily then for one reason or another that thing is withdrawn from us and then we experience suffering. By detaching not just from negative but positive feedback from others, you can bypass some of your suffering. 

But I like positive validation that's why I tried to hang myself from the ceiling light haha

This isn't to say to outright dismiss people or not consider anything they say about you, but keep in mind everybody has their faulty biases and their opinion of you often isn't going to be completely based on reality. You know yourself better than anybody does, including me, so when you know people are wrong and nothing you say convinces them, pretty much it doesn't even matter at that point. 

No I don't know myself very well at all but I always liked that you know yourself 

If you can adopt this mindset you might find your defensiveness, feelings of being misunderstood, and overall suffering might be reduced. Also since you're not attaching to negative feedback from others, you'd be less likely to erupt in anger and more likely to give more valid and understandable and coherent replies if you do choose to engage those people, and ultimately the relationships in your life would see improvement.

But I AM attaching to negative feedback that's the PROBLEM 

It took me a really long time to come to these conclusions myself and I think it would really help you if you listened. I mean, you saw the way I used to be on here. That's not to say I'm not up for doing a little trolling from time to time, of course ;p

 WHAT? 

🌺🐀 🌺
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