Late at night, numb on Prozac, a dim flame… in a dark room. I have nothing left to hold onto.
There is nothing inside, I’m null and void while every passing facade fades before my eyes, quicker than the last
time goes by like time travel, I still feel 12 and 23 and 24 and 26, all i have is the sand in my eyes to remind me how much time has passed. Sometimes, I’m not really sure.
I had to ask what month it was. I can tell I’m so tired , I barely make coherent sense to most people. Trapped inside, for a decade or longer.
it’s like vertigo, i really wonder what it’s like to feel grounded and solid about, anything… I feel like one day some tossed me up in the air and I never came down. I’ve been lost ever since but, didn’t know it. All this time… inevitably floating further and further sway, until I’m gone completely.
“I’m a million different people, from one day to the next.”
and then when time runs out, it doesn’t matter. So what am I here flr? I want to lay in the dirt and roll in the sun. One more time, I want to know every blade of grass and insect and fern on this green earth. There’s so much to miss, I can’t fathom words like contentment, or happy endings, happily ever after.
I’d really prefer it didn’t end, and I don’t want this life of, what…. What is it for….
no one will be there, nothing 3ill be thereby in the end, I’ll be alone just as we started.
birthed from nothingness, in tandem with great open space, a vacancy sewn our hearts together and made us one.
but we were always one half of the other, most days I forget…. I’m somewhere else, som5ueone else
and then I get a visitor, like an old familiar dream, coming to the murky surface. Messages kept in bottles, i dont know who wrote them. But they keep washing ashore. Everytime I read one, I look out and try to see if she’s there, out there somewhere on the horizon, staring back, waiting to come home.
but no one’s there. I’m Persephone … waiting by the sea…. For somebody like me….’’
an old promise she couldn’t keep.
I said I’ll wait for you, and turned into a skeleton,’’
she never came home
water drips from the sink, behind me, while the rounded limestone window, i stare out of. My hair grew beyond its edge like rap used, 42’’ long.
I didn’t care… every morning waking up wondering where she’d gone, amnesia to the fact, it’d been over a decade.
‘’I hated time as it passed, because it was only a tool to measure the length of my suffering
