am I ever going to be able to think again? what is going to happen next? is this the end of it all did I ruin my entire future by trying to do away with too much stuff to the point that I will not even be able to remember that it is gone and that if I could remember I that might miss it and try to get it back?
and I still feel an inner burning of anger and rage in my chest when I post on here so I should probably clear and remove that soon if I can even remember how to
oh dear
what I have been reminding myself of lately is that hurt people hurt people and genuine shamanic healers which is what I aspire to be know how to recover from those hurts and not only recover but are able to help those who are hurting
If I can even remember enough information to know how to do either in the future, that I do not know for sure anymore
there is the dark side and the light side and both are at war and I am here in the middle trying to make peace between everyone if possible but I have failed in the past and now both sides are upset with me 😱😞
some of my anger is towards myself actually a lot of it is and I was just projecting my anger at myself as anger at other people too (because of wanting to be given all of the answers right this instant) but to be fair I was in a lot of inner torment and humanity is in a lot of torment too right now so it has always felt like an emergency situation to understand how to create peace within myself because if I can at least do that, then I am not adding more to humanity's torment
