and I do not mean small changes but like entire life perspective changes that would lead to both of you being able to be in a respectful and self and other people loving relationship (not based on looks or shallow stuff such as excessive material possessions and money and so on) k so how do you stop hoping that a "greedy selfish narcissist" will see the light so to speak and begin to have similar values such as unconditional love, compassion, attempting not to harm yourself or other people, being a healing influence, breaking addictive patterns and exchanging them for healthy ones such as taking care of the earth instead of hoarding money genuinely loving yourself and other people instead of secretly hating your true self and energy vampirizing other people
how do you give up hope when you feel so much better and happier having new values that you did not used to have but now you do and you want a specific person to become the opposite of who they are presently choosing to be so that you can have a harmonious peaceful pleasant relationship with them ?
I am struggling with knowing that so many people are harming themselves and other people but have been subconsciously engaging in energy vampirism so that they do not really have to feel the damage that they are causing to themselves and other people (and if they had no choice but to feel it like empaths do they would want to stop doing this so that they would not be feeling so much torment and suffering) but they are not empaths and maybe it was by choice that they chose to lock away and ignore their empathic abilities (probably because of trauma) in exchange for energy vampirism
but what if you thought that there might be a way to restore their empathic abilities and teach them how to protect themselves from the potentially painful and tormentful effects of trauma and once you figure it out you hope that they would let you restore their empathic ability and then both of you could be happy together instead of you just moving on and finding someone who already values their empathic abilities ?
it has to do with the empathic desire to reduce pain and torment and wanting to be such a powerful healing force that you can heal even the most sick narcissists and psychopaths out there but then like you realize that you need to keep learning how to be the most healing influence that you can be to even be able to heal the person that you hope would change for you to have your same values and all of that "the truly good and wise and beneficial values that have no shame or guilt attached to them and you do not have to abuse or take from other people in order to feel free of shame and guilt either values"
yeah lol how do you stop being distracted by someone who is doing everything "wrong" from an empathic perspective? so much so that it distracts you from focusing on your own life purpose like the "wrongness" just stays stuck in your head like a constant alarm that that person needs to change right now so that everything can feel okay and right in the world ? except the world would still be messed up even if you had that person on your team but at least you wouldn't be alone anymore and you saved someone from all of their wrongness and made all of their wrongness into rightness