funny 4chan greentext:
I saw a beautiful woman at the mall today. She was wearing a very revealing red dress with thigh-high stockings and heels, and she looked like an angel from heaven that had descended to earth. She was walking through the mall with her husband when I caught up with them. The man who was with her was about 30 years old, and he wasn't bad looking either. He was tall and thin, with dark hair, big brown eyes, and a nice smile. He was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. They were standing on the escalator as they waited for it to move up to the next level of the mall. His wife turned around and smiled at me, and then I noticed something strange. Her face...It seemed different somehow, but I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized what it was. She was ugly! Horribly so! It was like she was wearing a mask over her face, and it wasn't quite right.
Then I noticed the way she walked. She didn't walk normally; instead, she moved stiffly and awkwardly. And her arms...Her hands were crooked, not at all like normal people's. It was as if someone had taken a normal person and broken their limbs and twisted them into weird positions. There were other things too. Her feet were odd; they were slightly larger than normal, but much more slender and delicate in appearance.
The woman said something to her husband, and he replied. But his voice was wrong too. It sounded like it came from another direction entirely. He spoke loudly and slowly, and there was no emotion or expression at all in his words. It was as if he were talking to himself.
"Sorry," he said. "I'm just really nervous."
She reached out and touched him on the shoulder. "You've done this before?" she asked.
He nodded. "Twice now," he whispered.
They got off the escalator and started walking down the hallway. I followed them, keeping my distance so I wouldn't be seen. I watched as they went through one store after another. The man picked up a few items and put them back down again. Finally, they stopped at a jewelry counter and stepped up to the display case where an employee was standing behind the desk.
The man leaned against the glass and stared at the merchandise. His wife stood beside him, watching the woman ring them up while her husband fiddled with his phone. Suddenly, the two of them burst into laughter. It was horrible; it sounded like someone choking. They laughed for several minutes before stopping abruptly. Then they left the store.
As soon as they were gone, I ran back to my car and drove away.
(ooc: ill post more if i make anyone, this was kinda retarded but it is just an ai dry humor)