I'm back :D
I was in the Bahamas swimming after my kickboxing competition. Got myself a Caribbean lady and ended up with a shark bite and hospital for a month.
Ok story time.
My diving team of 4 was enjoying our time at the Tiger Beach when suddenly we were circled by at least 5 or 10 tiger sharks. My friend was screaming like a girl and I was laughing because I knew that sharks dont attack humans. But then my friend turned pale and said "Edvard, do you know what those sharks are?" I said "What? What are those sharks?" He said "They are tiger sharks. Don't you know that tiger sharks are known as the trash eaters of the Ocean. They eat anything!"
I was in trouble and my first instinct was to protect my pack. I knew I had to act fast before everyone would be eaten.
In a rush of adrenaline, my mind started working at hyper speed as I saw my experiences and life flash before me. I was scanning for something, anything that would get me out of this situation. At first, I thought back to the course I took on defending myself against bears. How do you defend against bears? Play dead. No, it will not work on sharks. Sharks do not understand what sleeping means because they are fish. I suddenly remembered one Saturday night when I was fucking my ex girlfriend and her TV was on on discovery channel where it was said said sharks dont eat humans as long as they know we are humans. But what could I use to let the sharks know I am a human? I took the nordic knife I used to make a blood pact with my Caribbean lady earlier that day and after a second of hesitation I decided to let the sharks smell me by cutting my wrist and letting the blood flow into water, so the sharks would realise we are humans and would leave us alone.
It wasn't even 5 seconds when my friend is shouting at me that the sharks are getting excited and I show him my bloody wrist and said "Look, teddy, look at what I did. I saved the say. I cut my wrist." My friend was in shock and wasn't comprehending things, and then the first tiger shark tried to attack, missing the bite off of my friend by an inch as he used a mawa-sigeri to redirect the assault of the shark.
I knew my friends were in panic and I had to do something.
I dove deep underwater where the biggest tiger shark, 15 meters in length and weighting 5.6 tonnes, stared at me and I stared back at it. All the other sharks stopped and started to look at what happened between me and the big shark. I knew from the blood on his lips that he had eaten human flesh before, at least 10 humans had been killed by the amount of blood he had on his lips. Sharks are very shy animals and chase you if you look like prey. I knew what I had to do. The shark tried to circle me to make me confused, but I kept my eyes fixed at his like a hawk. We both knew what each other were thinking, and I could understand the shark, its past, its present, its troubles. But I had no time for emotions. I was responsible for a flock of at least 30 divers who would be eaten if I lost.
Then, finally, the shark started its assault. It launched at me headfirst at 60 mph like a torpedo on crack and I barely managed to avoid the attack by swimming aside as I remembered my swimming lessons with the olympic medalist Michael Phelps, it was all for that crucial fraction of a second that saved my life. It turned, and it launched again. As it showed its face I punched its nose in the weak spot where its previous prey, a fisherman of 30 years of age, had wounded it with a torpedo, it disoriented it for a moment and it was wounded. As the beast was recovering, I only had one moment, and I remembered Miguel, my Mexican underground kickboxing teacher who taught me some Krav Maga, and I flipped the shark around, inducing tonic immobility. Just as it was recovering I kicked the shark in its crotch and it whimpered in ultrasound. I knew I was victorious.
Then a flash of pain came about, one of its shark buddies took a chomp at my shoulder. I was able to deflect the bite partially by flexing my shoulder muscles, but the damage was done. Most of the sharks had fleen, at least 20 of them, after the big shark was defeated yet the smaller ones were circling us like velociraptors. At least 35 divers had died. I took the rest of the divers and swam with them to the shore, deflecting shark attacks. Then, I suddenly realized I had Conqueror's haki. I just stood there, staring. And the sharks stared back at me. I said "not today" and then the sharks mouths started foaming as they lost consciousness. Wounded, I took the rest of the divers in both of my hands and swam them all to shore, especially my caribbean lady who I banged before I went to the hospital.
The nurse was really surprised when she heard from my friends what I did :D
I'm something of a local hero here now. I don't have time for SC anymore and I decided to dedicate my days to saving lives now.
How are you all? Any original members still around? :D
