I have been finding posting on this forum uninteresting lately
Original Title: lying is not the same as having opposing unintigrated perspectives
of your personality and changing your mind a lot because of that like if I have some form of mpd or whatever I do not know but I know that different parts of my personality opposite each other like almost all of the time and it makes it extremely difficult for me to decide on what I want to do and then commit to it long term there are strengths and weaknesses to being able to see life and situations from many different perspectives, but for myself it is very confusing and that is another reason that I desire a significant other who can help myself reason through all of the insanity that goes on on my head and make good productive decisions for myself
Is this a form of mpd or add or what ? it is very disorienting and I do not do well on my own but I have historically chosen less than ideal significant others for myself I feel like I have narrowed down the types of qualities that are most ideal, but it is again difficult to remain confident in my decisions because I do not seem to have an integrated perspective on anything
and I have kind of resigned myself to if I need to protect myself from whatever trauma might have happened when I was younger to this extent, Idk if trying to integrate is even the best decision for myself because maybe I do not want to know and should not know what happened to myself when I was younger that would have caused this much damage to myself psychologically but if I find a therapist that I can trust someday maybe I will become more integrated but I always seem to lose trust in them soo idk
also joking around and teasing is not lying either and I do that a lot too it might be confusing to other people on what I am serious about and what I am joking or being sarcastic about but it still is not technically lying (and I am not going to stop joking around because I like doing it and I am not a student of some like professional career where I have to be super serious about everything soo)
soo in summary changing your mind a lot due to having a mental disorder that causes a lot of confusion and disorientation and joking around a lot are, while still confusing to other people, not the same as lying