even in a future where it pays off it is not even worth it at least I can admit what I did and luckily, I am the one responsible for how much that I respect and love myself soo I can take all of that back from this creep that I gave to him, but fuck what a waste of time and not to mention my physical health decreased that has been the hardest to accept is the decrease of my physical health that is like the one thing that this person "won" from me but everything else I can take back and even my physical health can be fixed in the future with surgery
I was bored with my life and I wanted to thrill chase and I saw clout chasing as thrill chasing at the time, and I regret it all soo much from the bottom of my heart but the truth is idk where else I would have went after my ex because clout chasing at that point was the only thing that I was interested at the time I wanted to become famous
god how much I wish that I could take it all back, I can take most of it back but not the time spent or my physical health
