(I feel soooooooooooo uncomfortable, "being grateful" to people who abuse you feels like sub / cuck / doormat / weak stuff to me and is a major subconscious trigger of my own that I am choosing to try to heal)
soo this is what my shadow work book has to say on the topic-
Forgiveness is actually quite simple, forgiveness is saying “Thank you”.
Forgiveness is gratitude.
Say “thank you” as many times as you can to the person or people who have hurt you.
It does not have to be done face to face. Wherever it is done whether it is done face to face, over a text message, or while you are alone with yourself as you sit on your bed late at night it is just as powerful as expressing it verbally. It still makes an impact on the energetic field around us and most importantly inside of us.
The first few times you say “thank you” it may not feel as though it is making a difference because they are just words. But you need to force yourself to say it so many times that eventually those words reverberate through your being like a tornado of love and light. And believe me, in time, that will happen.
After enough repetition and practice you will find yourself saying it automatically almost immediately after someone has triggered you. You will become accustomed to being grateful to those who are triggering your unhealed shadow and subsequently assisting you on your path to healing.
Remember that everything is felt on an energetic level.
Words are extremely powerful and have their own frequency and are a powerful tool that we can use to manifest healing and joy into our realities.
Words are magical and can cast spells hence the word “spelling”. Almost every single belief system or culture that has existed on this planet has used chanting as part of their custom or ritual. Chanting is repetition. Saying something once or twice or even a hand full of times is not going to make much of a difference energetically, but repeating it over and over and over again until you can actually feel the vibration of it is what makes the difference energetically