Sociopath Community

one of my goals-  stop internally in your own thoughts scapegoating your own self Emily what the hell  love yourself because you cannot properly love other people without loving yourself first  🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊

Based on what you post on this forum at least, it looks more like you're prone to externalizing blame rather than internalizing it, as if others have been casting spells on you, are actively ignoring you as if they know who you are, or are the cause for the things currently going wrong with you otherwise. You have even externalized this to being a wide range of disorders all comorbid at once as well as the interference of different deities. You then complain about how these factors are making you do things. 

You will often make statements about how you never get things wrong or otherwise mess up, which has the appearance of the opposite of blaming yourself. Most of what I see is you being afraid of other opinions to the point of overreacting, insisting you must be all powerful and that others are just haters even when they are legit concerned. When it goes more deep end all powerful begins to extend into all knowing, having outside information become impossible for you to read. 

At the very least you tend to keep the self-blaming to yourself unless it's over some kind of worldly phenomenon, but you type tomes over how nothing is your fault and that you don't ever make mistakes. 

In light of both going on, you at the very least have a very complicated relationship with blame. 

Turncoat said: 

Based on what you post on this forum at least, it looks more like you're prone to externalizing blame rather than internalizing it, as if others have been casting spells on you, are actively ignoring you as if they know who you are, or are the cause for the things currently going wrong with you otherwise. You have even externalized this to being a wide range of disorders all comorbid at once as well as the interference of different deities. You then complain about how these factors are making you do things. 

You will often make statements about how you never get things wrong or otherwise mess up, which has the appearance of the opposite of blaming yourself. Most of what I see is you being afraid of other opinions to the point of overreacting, insisting you must be all powerful and that others are just haters even when they are legit concerned. When it goes more deep end all powerful begins to extend into all knowing, having outside information become impossible for you to read. 

At the very least you tend to keep the self-blaming to yourself unless it's over some kind of worldly phenomenon, but you type tomes over how nothing is your fault and that you don't ever make mistakes. 

In light of both going on, you at the very least have a very complicated relationship with blame. 

I do that on this forum because I do not trust people on here to give good healing advice,  but in real life I actually act the opposite and people who know me are always telling me how hard on myself that I am because they can tell that I am taking on blame for stuff that in no way could actually be my fault,  like for example the countless conversations that I have had with my mother where she has had to talk me out of blaming myself for stuff that it would be impossible to be my fault and believing false negative lying beliefs about myself

you have a perception of me that is not accurate of myself as a whole person on this forum because I do not share my real self on here very much,  due to not trusting the members and for good reason  any therapist would recommend avoiding being vulnerable and sharing your more intimate self around people who engage in a lot of toxic behaviors on a regular basis like people on this forum do

you do not know the true real me Turncoat or how I behave in real life and around people that I am close with,  and you probably never will and I think that you need to come to accept that you and other forum members behave too toxically to be considered someone that I would want to share my true real self with

sometimes I break that rule like with this thread,  but usually I do not

compassionatequeen said: 

you have a perception of me that is not accurate of myself as a whole person on this forum because I do not share my real self on here very much

Both who you display yourself as on here and how much you struggle with it IRL both circle around the idea of blame, a notion you hold very dramatically black and white, rather than for the shades of gray in between. 

They both come from you, and they are both very intense. I would not discount one over the other when both are where you go with little in between. 

you do not know the true real me Turncoat or how I behave in real life and around people that I am close with,  and you probably never will and I think that you need to come to accept that you and other forum members behave too toxically to be considered someone that I would want to share my true real self with

Are you sure it's not that you are denying the egotistical side of yourself in your current phase, then in the future will doubt weakness again? 

I'd argue both are real in their own ways, and that both root from the same place. 

edit

Turncoat said: 

compassionatequeen said: 

you have a perception of me that is not accurate of myself as a whole person on this forum because I do not share my real self on here very much

Both who you display yourself as on here and how much you struggle with it IRL both circle around the idea of blame, a notion you hold very dramatically black and white, rather than for the shades of gray in between. 

They both come from you, and they are both very intense. I would not discount one over the other when both are where you go with little in between. 

you do not know the true real me Turncoat or how I behave in real life and around people that I am close with,  and you probably never will and I think that you need to come to accept that you and other forum members behave too toxically to be considered someone that I would want to share my true real self with

Are you sure it's not that you are denying the egotistical side of yourself in your current phase, then in the future will doubt weakness again? 

I'd argue both are real in their own ways, and that both root from the same place. 

who cares ? ultimately everyone has to take individual responsibility for their own beliefs and behaviors, and if you have personality disorder and mental disorder traits, then it should be your responsibility to get therapy to at least try to help manage your symptoms and no one person is responsible for everything "bad" in the world

(referencing the specific post that I am am replying to because I feel like it is important in this thread to be as clear as possible about my present opinions)

compassionatequeen said: 

Turncoat said: 

compassionatequeen said: 

you have a perception of me that is not accurate of myself as a whole person on this forum because I do not share my real self on here very much

Both who you display yourself as on here and how much you struggle with it IRL both circle around the idea of blame, a notion you hold very dramatically black and white, rather than for the shades of gray in between. 

They both come from you, and they are both very intense. I would not discount one over the other when both are where you go with little in between. 

you do not know the true real me Turncoat or how I behave in real life and around people that I am close with,  and you probably never will and I think that you need to come to accept that you and other forum members behave too toxically to be considered someone that I would want to share my true real self with

Are you sure it's not that you are denying the egotistical side of yourself in your current phase, then in the future will doubt weakness again? 

I'd argue both are real in their own ways, and that both root from the same place. 

 

who cares ? ultimately everyone has to take individual responsibility for their own beliefs and behaviors, and if you have personality disorder and mental disorder traits, then it should be your responsibility to get therapy to at least try to help manage your symptoms and no one person is responsible for everything "bad" in the world

 

(referencing the specific post that I am am replying to because I feel like it is important in this thread to be as clear as possible about my present opinions)

 

 

to add to this,  If I have an internal issue with inappropriately blaming and scapegoating myself for stuff,  then this is going to externally manifest in a number of ways-  some of the ways listed so far have been mentioned,  and some of them include being bluntly honest that I inappropriately blame and scapegoat myself for stuff,  and some include the opposite behavior of trying to project what should not even be blamed on a single person or maybe not even on a person at all but that I was already blaming myself for onto someone else who either is or is not actually responsible for whatever they are being accused of by myself

dude,  being in my mind is like a constant mindfuck though  It is like watching one of those mindfuck movies,  except it is your reality all of the time  (except I usually do not see or hear things that other people are not seeing or hearing,  usually it has to do with believing stuff that makes no actual sense to believe,  and every single day I have to try to straighten out in my mind what is true and accurate and what is nonsensical and has no basis in the collective reality of our human species)

compassionatequeen said: 

Turncoat said: 

compassionatequeen said: 

you have a perception of me that is not accurate of myself as a whole person on this forum because I do not share my real self on here very much

Both who you display yourself as on here and how much you struggle with it IRL both circle around the idea of blame, a notion you hold very dramatically black and white, rather than for the shades of gray in between. 

They both come from you, and they are both very intense. I would not discount one over the other when both are where you go with little in between. 

you do not know the true real me Turncoat or how I behave in real life and around people that I am close with,  and you probably never will and I think that you need to come to accept that you and other forum members behave too toxically to be considered someone that I would want to share my true real self with

Are you sure it's not that you are denying the egotistical side of yourself in your current phase, then in the future will doubt weakness again? 

I'd argue both are real in their own ways, and that both root from the same place. 

who cares?

Typically people care about themselves more than other people, and as such would become absorbed by their own narrative. 

ultimately everyone has to take individual responsibility for their own beliefs and behaviors, and if you have personality disorder and mental disorder traits, then it should be your responsibility to get therapy to at least try to help manage your symptoms

It's more than just being responsible for making a plan though, it's also taking responsibility for ever past misdeed, even if they were over being out of control. 

and no one person is responsible for everything "bad" in the world

Well, yeah, that'd be crazy to believe. 😛

You're just one in 7.8 billion, take comfort in not mattering.