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I think I might be on the spectrum?

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 968

Since I was a kid, I've always had a lot of trouble at school and with people. I was diagnosed with tourette's syndrome and a learning disability and later dyslexia. I was bullied when I was a kid and mostly mental illnesses were stigmatized. I was offered to go to special class and have extra time for my exams, but I refused all of that, because I was so afraid of being labelled as something dysfunctional.

I used to think it's social anxiety. I always struggle to find the right things to say.

However, as of late, I've had some time to think about my inability to connect with anyone. I think I might be autistic. I try so hard to understand people, but I fucking can't, and it's so frustrating. I feel so inadequate. No matter how much I try, I just can't get it. Others make it look so easy. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's like I just want a manual to tell me how people work.

I just feel like if I was autistic, it'd be so final, it'd be like I just gave up and admitted I could never be like a normal person. I've tried for so many years to connect with people. Every time, I'm so afraid I'll say something wrong, and things go to shit, and then they do. I've looked down on autistic people, in my mind, all my life, and so I can feel my eyes at my own back, looking down on me.

I don't know. I'm feeling like crap rn. Maybe I deserve it. God made me autistic to teach me a lesson.

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 819
0 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?

First of all, welcome to SC.

Secondly, didn't even read.

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 968
-1 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?
The Waltz said: 

First of all, welcome to SC.

Secondly, didn't even read.

stfu

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 1331
0 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?

It is a spectrum. Everyone is different. There are even therapists with diagnosed autism helping other autists. In therapy many on the spectrum can improve their social skills etc. It is not a defintive thing especially if you are/were not even sure about it which tells me that if you have it you are highly functional with it. 

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 968
-1 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?
Friedrich said: 

It is a spectrum. Everyone is different. There are even therapists with diagnosed autism helping other autists. In therapy many on the spectrum can improve their social skills etc. It is not a defintive thing especially if you are/were not even sure about it which tells me that if you have it you are highly functional with it. 

Do you have books on helping autists develop social skills? I'm not really into going to therapy right now. I used to do it when I was a kid, but not for autism.

Yeah I'm high functioning, if I'm autistic.

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 1331
0 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?
AppleGenius said: 
Friedrich said: 

It is a spectrum. Everyone is different. There are even therapists with diagnosed autism helping other autists. In therapy many on the spectrum can improve their social skills etc. It is not a defintive thing especially if you are/were not even sure about it which tells me that if you have it you are highly functional with it. 

Do you have books on helping autists develop social skills? I'm not really into going to therapy right now. I used to do it when I was a kid, but not for autism.

Yeah I'm high functioning, if I'm autistic.

 I think with this you have to do therapy. I think you need a role model and a relationship. I dont think if you have autism that reading a book will help.

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 968
-1 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?
Friedrich said: 

 I think with this you have to do therapy. I think you need a role model and a relationship. I dont think if you have autism that reading a book will help.

Know any good autist role models? I think a book can be a good prelude to therapy.

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 1331
0 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?
AppleGenius said: 
Friedrich said: 

 I think with this you have to do therapy. I think you need a role model and a relationship. I dont think if you have autism that reading a book will help.

Know any good autist role models? I think a book can be a good prelude to therapy.

 Not a role model like an idol but someone who can show and train things with you. I just have superficial knowledge about autism. It is like an own field. Normal therapists here usually tend not to take ADHD or autist patients but you specialize in it if you like it.

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 968
-1 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?
Friedrich said: 

Not a role model like an idol but someone who can show and train things with you. I just have superficial knowledge about autism. It is like an own field. Normal therapists here usually tend not to take ADHD or autist patients but you specialize in it if you like it.

Makes sense, but I don't know. I feel like I have people to train social skills with. It's more that no matter how much I train, I don't get any better at it.

But maybe I should go to therapy. I probably won't, though, I don't feel it will really help. I've been to therapy in the past for some other issues, but I thought it didn't really help. I'll probably read more about it and then decide if it's worth a try.

on 9/23/2022
Posts: 95
0 votes RE: I think I might be on the spectrum?

A lot of people here are autistic. Why it's the sociopathcommunity more than actual psychopaths. Me, you, Cav, and Chapo with a few more suspects. Truth is there are a lot of autistic guys and even some women than would be suspected especially in weird nerdy places like this. A lot of us are treated poorly so we are more likely to develop sociopathy anyhow.

last edit on 9/23/2022 5:38:16 PM
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