Me and my wife, we occasionally fight because of how excessively rude she is to me..... But as of two weeks ago, I have managed to condition her to calling me "King in the North" and "Your Royalty". I told her that if she wants me to do something I will do it but only if she addressed me like the peasants address royalty in the game of thrones. So as of two weeks ago, every time I come home she is singing "all hail the king" and talks to me with a fake British accent, calling me her king and what-not, in return for doing the dishes for her. I feel like I have trained her like Pavlov's dog.
Everything was fine up until yesterday when, upon massaging her feet after she so nicely asked the king in the north to do her a favor, I started to wonder.... Am I being immoral? Is it right for me to take advantage of this poor peasant girl and condition her into thinking I am royalty and need to be treated as such? Is this what my family, my ancestors, and those who rely and depend on me as their defendor would want of me?
Indeed, these sort of high-level thoughts are quite commonplace for one such as I *chuckles*.
I occasionally wonder if I am a narcissist as I come back on SC and re-read my posts over and over, laughing at my own jokes and thinking I am being incredibly funny, when I login as "Friedrich" and pretend to be a humble German guy when, in reality, I am actually Jamaican and not humble at all, thus deceiving the SC sheeplets who scramble in confusion as my masterful plans unravel in front of their eyes, like the ending of Inception.
Nevertheless.. I long for someone to, for once, understand my jokes. They say that Germans can't tell jokes and that they're too serious, but that's not true. It is patronising, ethnocentric nonsense to suggest another nation has no sense of humour – especially if you lack the language skills to assess for yourself whether their jokes are amusing, or indeed translate your own witticisms for their benefit. Of course Germans have a sense of humour; it might just be different from yours. Because of the wordplay involved, humour often gets lost in translation. Take this joke, printed in the Bild tabloid:
Two mates are sitting at a table in the pub. One says to the other: "Tell me, do you sometimes get smog in your bedroom?"
"How come?" asks the other.
"A bad atmosphere and no traffic ..." To get the joke, you have to know that the word for traffic (verkehr) can also mean sexual intercourse. And you need to think that intercourse is funny.
Do you understand now that the German people are actually hilarious?
