Sister Turquie, you have converted and I am convinced you always were a believer and a follower of our Fecal Lord. The power of delectable defecation is coursing through your thick brown veins.
- I have seen you employ what is known as 'radical shartness'. This practice dates back to the very origins of the movement and is the fundamental step towards a path of endarknement through colon absorption. You display youth, vigor, and a chaos that emulates the destructive power of a particularly moist bout of diarrhoea.
- Secondly you have been mitigating your chaos via interjections that are less of the above, and more of the "filler". While good in theory, in practice this may desensitize or even immunize non-believers from the constant barrage of shit pebbles.
I personally spread out my defecation less evenly, and focus on the intensity of the sharts. You lull them into a false sense of security by chatting about cats, dogs, weather, speed, orphans and other popular topics on this website. Meanwhile you stock up on ammo. Once the conversation reaches its momentum, you unleash the power of sharts and commit a mass killing spree the likes of which will remain in people's minds for a long time.
The tenets of our practices are contradictory in nature. Where you have liquid diarrhea, there's constipation. That's what your ferocity is to restraint. Like a huntress, you bide your time.
But, seeing as you're developing a personal style, I see no sense in micro managing every tiny fart you make. Keep spreading the pungent truth and a thousand Michaels will await you in heaven.
