being in love in a supportive way is like using a muscle that I always wanted to use but never actually used, and the reason why is fear I am scared of being supportive and being taken for granted but loving in the competitive way has ended in heartbreak for me too so now I am having to reach a decision in my life to love supportively even when it is scary or I might be hurt
practicing loving in a genuinely supportive way is so much easier said than done, but they say that practice makes perfect and the fact that I am even willing to actively seek out IFS therapy for myself shows a lot of evidence that I am not just talking the talk anymore but now I am starting to walk to walk too, and I think that this is where real change in my behavior is going to start becoming not only possible but very evident for everyone to see as well
so yeah it is scary to make these really big deal significant changes in my ways of relating to other people, especially the people that I am closest to and profess to love but worth it Imo