I try not to label people as an addictive behavior that they engage in often, but for the sake of coming up with a succinct title for the thread, this is how I feel on the matter
It used to trigger me, it used to be my number one trigger I used to hate men because of seeing them all as unfaithful and untrustworthy and undeserving of my heart, just because I knew that some men had no problem with engaging in this behavior and mistreating and abusing women this way
but now, after reaching a level of enlightenment and compassion I just see these men as sick they do not know how to love themselves and they do not know how to love women these are very very sick men and shaming and judging and trying to make them feel guilt for acting out these behaviors is not the solution, because they feel so addicted to what they are doing that they are not going to try to change just because women or society tells them that they "should" treat women with more love and respect
these men are lacking self-love and self-compassion, and until they reach their own level of enlightenment and self-compassion they are not going to stop engaging in these behaviors and us, as women who have had our hearts broken by them "should" only forgive them and show compassion to them, but also protect our hearts from future abuse by not staying emotionally connected to men who are going to continue to disrespect us and treat us as undeserving of faithfulness, loyalty and partnership or even a stable and honest and equal open relationship where both people in the partnership are allowed to have other sexual partners and it is not some hidden deceptive manipulative thing where both the partner, and the other people that the partner is being cheated on with are being deceived and lied to and getting their hearts broken
"fuckbois" are not bad people, they are men who are psychologically and emotionally damaged by a very harsh hateful judgmental Inner critic that is controlling them through fear and running their lives and they are acting out their pain
and while the harsh hateful judgmental inner critic is at fault this part of them is not their enemy and is actually trying to help and protect them to the best of its ability it just has not been able to accept self-compassion as a better alternative because compassion can seem "weak" and sometimes scary
these men are a lot of times very strong and handsome and resilient warrior types, and they are scared of being seen as "soft" and taken advantage of and as women who have been heartbroken by them, we need to understand this that these men are scared and that they are trying to protect themselves from the shame of possibly being seen as weak
compassion is not weak, but healthy boundaries are important and sharing that soft trusting side of you should only be done with people who are going to respect and nurture it and keep it safe and as women who have recovered from being traumatized by these men that we loved, it is our responsibility to lead by example and to become and remain women who respect and nurture and keep safe our own inner compassion, so that we can share it with other people in healthy boundaried and appropriate ways, especially our future significant other If we decide to partner ourselves with a significant other in the future
tl;dr these men are scared and should be responded to compassionately, but not in an unboundaried unhealthy way that would include allowing ourselves to be treated like doormats by and used in psychologically and emotionally neglectful and abusive ways by them and so on and this is coming from a woman's perspective I suppose If I was to speak on how other men should respond to this "fuckboi" type of man, is to also respond compassionately to them and to also protect themselves by setting healthy and appropriate boundaries from being used my them because these men tend to attempt to use and abuse everyone around them, not just women
